My Escape
by Smilie-x
Summary: Ginny has been in constant pain for years, the only release she has found is more pain. Will anybody help her, or is she destined to fall on the path that has always been meant for her by the dark lord? Warning: Contains cutting
1. Chapter 1

So hey there! Nice to meet ya! It would be even nicer to know that you liked meeting me too! You should review! This is my second story but the first has been deleted. I hope you enjoy this, the chapters are pretty short but I already have up to chapter ten written so it shouldn't take too much time for me to upload, in fact it wont take time at all. I am putting the first three up right now! Criticism would be loved. But flames will be extinguished. And any reviews will make my day!

_This story does include cutting, and I am not going to dull it down for you guys. If this bothers anybody, or if somebody would be triggered - Please do not read it. However if not, do continue!_

_Enjoy =D_

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****Chapter One: No Escape**

"Ginny dear can you please set the table?" Molly yelled from across the kitchen. The twins were duelling with red and gold sparks and their noise was hard to hear over. Ginny uncurled herself from her catlike position on her favourite navy blue armchair and trudged to the plates cupboard.

"Mum you could do it in a second with your wand!" she complained as she reached up to pull down all the plates.

"Don't start with me, young lady I'm busy preparing dinner for everybody I don't have any time - FRED!" She was cut off when the chair was set on fire by one of Fred's golden sparks. He quickly put it out but she was already angry.

"You two better start acting your age! Duelling with sparks! You should know better, there are people out there duelling in reality and you pretend it's all a game!? What do you think you are teaching Ginny? Instead of playing games you should be studying, trying to do something with your lives! You know I found those candies and if I ever see another again you will regret it!" Fred and George just looked down knowing that fake shame would make the rant stop sooner than fighting back. Ginny drowned out the noise and set the plates on the table, then the glasses, then the cutlery. Once everything was ready she hurried up to her room to escape the hustle of her family. The familiar bright room made her feel a bit better, but the inescapable sadness wouldn't leave. It hadn't left her for five years, and she was used to it. In fact the sadness was a comfort in itself.

She risked a longing look upwards, up all the way to the fifth floor of her home where she knew her brother Ron was. And, more importantly where her best friend Hermione and quite possibly the love of her life Harry, were. She sighed. School was starting in only two days, they had made the hectic trip to Diagon Alley a week ago. Again she had been let down.

No new robes, no new nothing. Not even books. Her quill was shabby and the ink bottle was being held together by Spellotape. She laid back on her bed. The suitcase on the other side of her room held everything she would need for school. She didn't want to go this year though. It would be her fifth and she was worried, she didn't look forward to the lack of privacy the castle allowed. At least, and at this thought she smirked a little, the robes would cover her arms.

"GINNY!" She heard her mother calling and rolled over on her bed, covering her head with a soft, fleecy pillow.

Go away! She groaned, knowing nobody could hear her and not worrying about manners.

"GINEVRA!?"

One…two...three.. And the expected knock came at her door.

"What?" She mumbled, and the door opened. Harry was there, so she quickly sat up.

"Erm, your mum wants you." He said staring the ground.

"Thanks, Harry." She murmured.

He left as quickly as he could and she allowed him a minute to get downstairs before leaving as well.

Everybody was already eating when she got to the table.

Ron, Harry, Hermione, Bill, Percy, Charlie, Molly, Arthur, Fred and George were too busy to notice her arrival. She filled her plate with food, then sat down and began to shove it around on her plate. She was simply not hungry, she knew nobody would notice if she didn't eat.

Molly stood up, "Harry, dear, you are looking much to slim here, have another helping!" She insisted forcing toast, potatoes, turkey, and another slice of treacle tart onto his plate. Ginny forced a small bite of peas into her own mouth.

"I don't feel well." She said slowly and quietly. Nobody heard, nobody responded.

"I think I will go to sleep." She said, louder now. Nobody listened, nobody answered.

On the other side of the table Fred and George were discussing what fake wands could turn into. Molly was pretending not to notice as she fiddled with Bills hair, trying once again to convince him to cut it all off. Harry Ron and Hermione were being quiet, whispering together, probably planning another escapade. Arthur was much to tired to do anything but chew. And Percy was desperately trying to make Charlie listen to his babble about his boss. She sighed. They didn't care about her, did they. She stood and walked away, never looking back. Once she was in the safety of her room Ginny began to cry. Through her tears she walked to her bedside table and opened the bottom drawer. In the drawer, underneath heaps of old papers was a box. And inside the box was a razor wrapped in what had once been a white cloth. She gently unwrapped the weapon, all the while whispering to herself.

"don't do it, don't do it, don't do it -" she wasn't really aware that she was making any noise. This was a well known ritual, she always had her mantra and she never remembered what it was. She pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. And, littering her arm was an organized array of old scars and new scabs. They were lined with not even a milimeter between them once after another on her wrist. Some had muggle bandages on them. She had had a very difficult time getting these, but she needed a way to make sure she wouldn't bleed everywhere without magic once she had left Hogwarts for the summer. She had actually grown quite fond of the muggle way of tending wounds, it allowed her to feel the pain for a longer amount of time which meant she wouldn't hurt herself as often. The downside was that the scars were worse than when she used magic to heal herself.

She pressed the blade against her thin pale skin, pushed it down harder and then dragged. She only released a breath once the blood was trickling down her arm, once she was finished watching it create a path she pressed the cloth down on her wound. It was only about 2 inches long, almost at her elbow. Judging by the amount of blood Ginny didn't think she had gone to deep. She lived in a constant fear of going to deep, of bleeding too much, of somebody finding out. This summer had been cold, which was lucky for her because nobody questioned her wearing long sleeves all the time. She let the cloth fall back to the ground, the wound wasn't bleeding as much after the pressure. Sniffing away the threat of more tears she made another incision, now there was an X right under her elbow. She had to limit herself when it came to her wrists, only two. She didn't bother with a bandage, lifted her shirt and sweater up, revealing a white stomach. She noticed the fat that was on it, although this was only in her imagination - if anybody else were to look they would realise that she was starving. The second thing she noticed was the red marks. She hadn't cut her stomach in a while, most of them had healed. She didn't get enough pleasure from it, they didn't bleed enough, didn't hurt enough. But her thighs had no clear skin left to cut and she didn't want to go overboard with her arms, so she took a jagged breath in before starting to haphazardly cut her stomach. She didn't bother to look. She pressed as hard as her shaking hands would allow and tried to paint her stomach red. She was choking on her tears by the time she was finished. Her goal had been accomplished, she could barely tell where she had cut and where had simply been bled on. She knew her cloth could not clean this mess. She pulled her shirt down, wincing as it rubbed on her raw stomach and hurried to the shower, knowing full well that the hot water and soap would sting just as much as pouring alcohol over them. She was glad that she could prolong her suffering, a smile held its unfamiliar place on her freckled, bloody face.

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_So...yea, depressing and YAY. I sure do hope you review. See that button right there -points down- CLICK IT! xD_


	2. Chapter 2

_So, yea. I dont have much to say really because this is being put up at the same time as 1 and 3... so.. REVIEW. And also enjoy. _

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**Chapter 2: Mouse**

A rough shaking woke Ginny up. Immediately she started panicking, were her bare arms under the blankets? Who was this? Did they _know_? Her eyes flew open - it was Molly.

"Its time to get up, we're leaving in two hours! I washed your robes they're right here…" A pause in her mothers talking worried Ginny, but she made herself keep her arms in the relative safety of her covers.

_Next time you're sleeping in a sweatshirt! _she thought to herself.

"Ginny…"

"What mum, I'm up!"

"What is this?"

She bit her lip, hoping desperately that it would be a misplaced shirt or one of the twins' infernal candies, "what's what?"

"On your carpet, it looks like blood!"

Molly was squatting down, touching the stain that must have come from last night.

"Oh mum, your ridiculous." Ginny said in a shaking voice, "remember when I bought that muggle cranberry juice?" She hoped the excuse would work.

"Oh…yes, of course." Molly murmured before walking out, "remember two hours!"

Ginny refused to let her mothers quick acceptance of the lie bother her. Instead she reminded herself how bloody lucky she was and shook the thoughts from her mind.

She quickly stood and hurried to the shower. She knew her mother had woken her up first, she always did. So she was pleased, though not surprised when the hot water was in full supply. After her shower she dried herself as well as she could in the humid bathroom. She always dressed in the bathroom rather than risking a walk to her bedroom. Her paranoia told her if she left the safety of this room while her cuts were in plain view they _would_ be seen. She pulled her dark skinny jeans and a red tank top on, followed by a fluorescent yellow thick bunny hug. Only once she was sure no separated skin could be seen she opened the door, only to see Ron, his hand held up as if he were about to knock.

"Well about time! Merlin, what takes you so long? get dressed in your bloody bedroom!" he ranted before shoving her out of the way and closing the bathroom door behind him.

She didn't take his words personally, Ron was not a morning person and she knew it.

She went back to her room where she dried her hair as well as possible without magic, then covered her bare feet in mismatched socks. Looking in the mirror she was disappointed in what she saw. She wished she were skinner, wished her skin wasn't so marred by freckles, she wished her lips weren't quite so plump, wished that her face didn't look so young. Really she wished she were someone else. She continued getting ready, and then once she was certain she had not forgotten anything, she pulled her trunk down the flight of steps and set it right by the door. A monstrous pile of toast sat buttered on the table. She grabbed a piece, knowing that her mother would make her take one anyways and nibbled on the crust. After swallowing her mouse bite she headed outdoors. She threw the toast as far as she could, which was quite far considering she was a chaser in Quiditch. She stood outside for a few moments, revelling in the warm familiar air of her home. But when she heard her mother calling she turned heel to head indoors,

"Ginny, here, have some toast!" Molly exclaimed once she saw her daughter, but Ginny shook her head.

"I've had a slice already Mum, and I'm not hungry." She lied and her mother turned away to pawn toast off on somebody else.

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The kitchen was full and loud and the trunks had piled quickly by the door. Ron was yelling red faced, because he had somehow managed to let Pig out of his cage and now he was hooting shrilly and refusing to come back down. Fred and George has their wands pulled out and were pointing at Pig and yelling fake spells, much to the dismay of Molly who really wanted that bloody owl to disappear. Pig made people realise just how awesome Errol was. As usual the morning was loud and chaotic, but everything was ready and too soon they were driving away from the burrow and had arrived at the train station. Everybody knew the drill, and one by one they ran through the brick wall into Platform 9 ¾.

Inside was louder than even the burrow could be. The train was whistling, and Molly - among other parents - was trying to hug and kiss everybody good by all while shouting instructions over the noise.

"Fred, George - You behave! Watch over them, don't get in trouble! Ron, do your work and, Harry dear please don't try to save the world again!" She gave a relieved smile to Hermione, "I know you can keep them on task!" She said briskly, and then with a giant wave and a few tears she let them get onto the train. Everybody disbanded almost immediately. Ron, Harry and Hermione gave Ginny an apologetic smile before hurrying to find a compartment, where no doubt they would be plotting their next great adventure.

George winked and Fred smiled and then they too left, in search of somebody to sell something to surely. This left Ginny standing alone, and she quickly began to walk with fake purpose, not wanting to look as lonely as she felt.

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_Well there ya have it. Please do review. Even if you did last chapter. Do you like it so far? Go on, click the button and say how you feel. Ill love you foreeeever!_


	3. Chapter 3

_And so I return, with a mini chapter that I do hope you enjoy. In fact I will be sitting her biting my cheeks [nervous habit] til you tell me. So review!!_

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**Chapter 3 The end of everything**

The train was loud with chatter. Ginny felt sick as she stumbled down the thin corridor, finally she reached what seemed to be an empty compartment. The blinds were drawn, as they all were until they were taken. She slid the door open and was shocked to see Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy sitting together. She felt her face becoming red, but she didn't seem to be able to move.

"What's your problem Weaslette?" Pansy cackled, "no blood-traitors allowed here!"

Ginny couldn't say a word. She gripped the razor she held even tighter, she just wanted release.

She wondered if her mother has even realised that she had forgotten to say goodbye to Ginny. She wondered if Hermione noticed the look in her eyes. She wondered if Harry cared one bit about her, and then answered herself, he didn't. She wondered if she were to find her old diary, would Tom still write back. She missed him, and she didn't want to.

"Go on, get out before they make you." Pansy threatened, looking pointedly at the two monstrous boys.

Ginny wondered why Malfoy had yet to say anything, he was usually the master of cruel comments. However he stayed sitting down, staring at her without the usual hatred in his icy eyes, his mouth never moved.

Crabbe stood, and Ginny stared up into his eyes, begging him to hurt her, because then at least she would have an excuse.

He used one massive hand to shoved her from the door way and then closed it. She let out a breath that had been held inside her much too long, no pain.

She made herself stand outside their door for a full three minutes, hoping that somebody would come out and force her to go away. But nobody did. She finally made her leaden feet move, and the first place she could think of to go was the back of the train where the washrooms were located. Once inside the white room she locked herself inside a cubicle. She pulled up her right sleeve and switched the razor into her left hand. This arm was free of cuts, pale and naked. She didn't care.

She used all of her strength to make as many cuts as she could. Haphazardly letting them cross over one another, letting them go whichever direction they pleased, some deep and some barely scratches. She didn't let herself cry, all she could do was continue tearing at her flesh.

Once finished she pressed the cheap toilet paper against her heavily bleeding arm. She cursed as she threw yet another soaked line of paper into the toilet, and hurried to cover the cuts again. She considered fixing it by magic but convinced herself not to. Instead she reached into her bag and pulled out gauze and the tape to hold it down. She covered her whole arm with the gauze, because there were simply too many cuts to cover each one alone, and taped the gauze as tightly as she could. Once she pulled down her sleeve she felt better. She wrapped her weapon in a wad of toilet paper and placed everything back to the bottom of her bag. Then, with a deep breath she released herself from the stall. Nobody was in the bathroom, nobody knew. But she knew that she needed to be more careful from now on. Even more secretive, because if somebody found out it would be the end. The end of everything.

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_Opinions? Random jokes? Trivia questions? Constructive critisism? Click the green button! It really, really, really, really, really means something!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 I must be dreaming**

She found a seat with Luna. It was a quiet ride because the blonde was busy reading the Quibbler and was not interested in talking. When Ginny tried Luna only glared, "There are Rabva's in here!"

"What's a Rabva?" Ginny asked, amused and hoping to spark a conversation, albeit an insane one.

"They are terrible, invisible, fly like mammals that fly through your mouth when you're talking and inject their sleep-venom into your brain!" Luna said through tight lips. Then she looked back at her magazine and Ginny didn't bother to ask any more questions.

Finally, the silent torture ended and the train stopped. Ginny exited the compartment as quickly as she could and tried to get lost in the crowd. She found herself in the familiar horseless carriages with strangers. She didn't mind, even when one of the dark haired boys who she tought might be in her year put the pure white cat he had been holding onto her lap. She liked hearing their happy conversation, even though she wasn't a part of it. She couldn't resist a smile when she saw the castle, it was just too astounding not to inspire a smile. Her carriage-mates didn't seem to care that they were coming closer to school, they continued chattering about their summers. She put herself onto autopilot, and proceeded to ignore everything until she was actually sitting at the Gryffindor table, looking at the new first years and wanting to congratulate them, but not being able to speak.

The sorting had gone as it always did, and Dumbledore's speech was just as insane as always, but Ginny did not find comfort in the regularity. She had began cutting midway through the last year. And now the joy of everything was gone.

Just once, she had promised herself, just to see if it actually helps.

But the problem was it had helped too much. And then it had refused to leave her alone. It tormented her until she would pull out something, anything to hurt herself again. And now she had a specialized razor just for the job. And it was out of control.

But still, it helped. All of her pain bled away when she cut herself. And Tom let her mind be at peace, sometimes for hours afterwards. So even if she wanted to stop she knew she couldn't. It was like a drug.

She walked up to the dormitory with the rest of her house and absently listened to the password before following everybody inside. She was already tired and so decided to head up to her bed before everybody else. She was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

_When she woke up she was standing in the middle of a busy hall with a feeling of dread in her chest. Everybody was staring at her, and when she looked down she realised why. She had forgotten her robes. Which meant she was wearing a T-shirt. Which meant her arms were on display. She ran from the hall, but she knew she hadn't enough time to go back to her dorm to get her robes. She was already at the door of her class before she could decide not to go. Everybody was already inside even though she could have sworn it hadn't been long enough for class to have begun. Professor Snape wasn't inside yet, and so Ginny hurried to sit down at a table happy that he wouldn't know she was late. But then she remembered her arms, and then the faceless person next to her grabbed her arms and held them high screaming voicelessly until every child in the room knew her secret. And then they laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed, some faked cutting themselves and used red ink as fake blood on their perfectly bare arms. They laughed until it was too much for her to be able to handle_. _She stood up. _

"_Shut up! All of you. Just leave me alone." she ordered before she sprinted from the class. _

_She couldn't find anywhere empty enough. She lifted her arm to her mouth and bit down - hard. Teeth marks resided where her mouth had been, she kept running. Finally she threw open a heavy wood door, close to the top of the castle. She scanned it, making sure she was alone… good. Interested to feel again the effects her teeth could cause. She bit down harder, and longer this time, she pressed against her skin with her teeth until she could feel the crimson life in her mouth, she pulled away. She stared at the wound, swimming in blood, and yet the blood refused to drip. She glared at it. But the pain was fading now, she clawed at herself, panic coursing through her veins - she refused to let it stop. A scream fought out of her throat, and then she was awake. _

She looked at the other beds surrounding her own and was relieved to see them all filled with peacefully sleeping bodies, they rose up and down, up and down, and somebody was snoring. She was in luck. Nobody in her dorm had awoken, but a quick scan of her body showed that she had indeed hurt herself while sleeping. A tear escaped her eye and she quickly pawed it away before getting out of bed to clean herself before anybody else woke up.

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_Whispers: review!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you soooo much Roxy43 and Fairy225! You can have virtual hugs and brownies and gummyworms! hahaha, I love those things =]_

_I hope you enjoyed chapter 4 and heres 5. Enjoy. _

_REVIEW! =D_

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**Chapter 5 Expectations Versus Reality**

Ginny was busy pacing the halls and it was only 1 in the morning. She couldn't go back to sleep, she was too afraid that she would hurt herself again - this time where others could see. She didn't watch where she was going and very rarely missed walking into a suit of armour twice. She almost fell through the fake stair and nearly screamed when a staircase moved just before she could step on it. She realised that she was going to end up either lost or found if she didn't stop moving so she pressed herself against a wall and sank down to the ground. A ghost drifted past and she had to stifle a scream, but the noise had been made. She knew now she would be found, and she didn't know how she could explain her condition. She pulled her knees up around her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Rocking back and forth she allowed her tears to spill from her eyes. As per usual she had a mantra, whispering frantically 'help me' she continued to rock. The school was dark, but it was late and she didn't want Mrs. Norris to find her. She looked around but was blind in the dark corridor.

"help me." she begged of the blackness.

She resigned herself to her fate, Mrs. Norris could find her and she couldn't do anything about it, "help me."

She wanted to scream. Her heart was beating too fast, it seemed to be climbing up into her throat.

"HELP ME!" her strangled cry broke the quiet, in the distance an owl hooted.

"Weasley?" The shocked voice surprised her and she looked up with startled, terrified eyes. _LEAVE! _She wanted to scream, but instead all she could manage was a pitiful sob, "help me".

She expected him to laugh at her.

She expected him to hurt her.

She expected him to go running in the direction of a teacher to get her in trouble.

She expected him to take off points or give her a detention.

She expected him to be himself.

But she never expected him to sit down beside her and wrap an arm around her shoulders before whispering, "what's wrong."

And she definitely never expected to end up crying into his shoulder, unable to put into words exactly what she was feeling.

Once she was done crying the two sat together in silence for an entire hour. Already the castle was becoming lighter, and Ginny couldn't help but tie the newfound brightness in with him.

"Are you ready to talk now?" He asked. His voice was soft and warm and, to Ginny, like a lullaby. She nodded. But what she planned to do wasn't exactly talking. She didn't know how to put the feelings into words, especially not spoken words. In fact, the only time she had really been able to discuss her feelings was with Tom. And that had been written, not to mention she had been possessed by him. Instead of speaking she pulled up a sleeve. She didn't know why she was showing her ultimate secret to her families enemy. To her worst nightmare. But the pale blond boy didn't seem to judge her.

He bowed his head, skimmed his long thin fingers over her broken skin, then pulled the robes sleeve back down.

"Why?" he asked slowly. His arm was back around her and she was glad that he hadn't withdrawn from her.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"It started last year." she said in a hoarse voice.

"Why?" He repeated.

"Because, Draco," she took a risk with his first name. It was the first time she had ever called him it, "because I need to escape _him_"

She saw his eyebrows knit together and she knew she needed to elaborate. But she didn't know how. She hoped he would excuse what she knew would be a very confusing explanation.

"In first year, well mine anyways, h-he took me over. And I didn't understand it at all, and I still don't. And I don't have any friends, at least, not really because they're all still afraid. And I don't even blame them because, I mean come on, I tried to kill those people! _Me_. I did it. And.. and even my family hates me now, they look at me odd and they're always kind of doubting me. My dad asks me about my days just to make sure I haven't been, like, repossessed. They think I am stupid for falling for it and f-for telling him everything! But I didn't know! He was the first person who cared, and I-I-I"

She had to pause to take a breath, because she didn't know that she could keep talking. She looked deep into those grey orbs of light, and he looked like he cared, so she kept going, "I think I loved him."

She hadn't even admitted this to herself and now she couldn't speak. She was too deep inside her own head, trying to figure out if she meant what she had said. She didn't mind when she felt his strong arms around her, though she was more than a little bit shocked when he lifted her up. He carried her all the way to the lake, knowing that she wouldn't want to be seen crumpled in the corridor when everybody woke up.

He stared out past the lake, at the sun and imagined he could see the wind on the cool air. He waited patiently for her to be ready to talk again.

She was laying on her stomach, hands cupping her chin and feet in the air.

She was finally done thinking, but she was confused as to why he was still there and so she half heartedly tried to make him go away.

"People will be up soon." Ginny sighed, looking at Draco, wondering when he would leave her and let the pain come back.

"I know."

"Aren't you afraid they'll see you with me? With a Gryffindor?'

"No."

She was puzzled, she glanced at him and blushed when she realised he was staring at her.

She didn't feel like being careful anymore, and he had proved that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not yet, so she decided to be open with him.

"Do you ever think about life, Draco. Do you ever think that its not worth it?"

He came to lie beside her on his back, staring up at the sky.

"Sometimes. But I don't think I could ever do anything about it."

He saw a heart in the clouds and pressed his eyes shut.

"Sometimes I want to do something about it." She told him, still waiting for when he came to his senses and left her. He rolled over and stared her in the eyes.

"Promise that you wont." He ordered, his voice hard as ice.

She shook her head, "Why? Why do you care? You _hate_ me!" She said all of this slowly, and more to herself than to him.

"I don't hate you, Ginny." He said, lifting her face up with one of his thin hands.

He kissed her forehead, and left her heart racing.

"Why?" She repeated stubbornly, not wanting his spell to work.

"I don't think you deserve to die, I think life will get better for you. And it would be a shame to lose you." He said honestly.

"But.. It hurts too much. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know how to smile anymore, not really. His voice is always in my head. Don't you understand. How can I stay here pretending to be happy when he never leaves me alone? And nobody has noticed! It has been five years and they think I am perfectly fine, they don't care. Why should I?" Tears were welling up in her brown eyes again, but they sparkled with life that had all but disappeared over the years, she truly wanted him to prove to her that she mattered.

"You have to keep fighting, Ginny. You need to fight for yourself. Everybody loves you, don't you see how lucky you are?"

She shook her head, "I don't feel lucky."

He used his over powering strength to flip her onto her back, "then I guess I'll have to make you."

And, after holding his face over hers for one torturous minute, he began tickling her. All but deaf to her laughter and attempted pleas. Finally she got the strength to push him off. Well, that or he let her.

She stuck her tongue out at him and stood, "that is not allowed." she warned playfully.

Draco waggled his eyebrows at her and stood as well, "we'll see about that!" he laughed and began to chase her.

Ginny was no where near as strong as Draco, but she was slight bit faster than he and she managed to escape his grasps by a hair each time he came close. But, as time drug on she got weaker, until finally she leaned on a tree utterly exhausted.

"Truce?" She asked with hopeful eyes. But Draco picked her up by her waist and span her around anyways.

He let her sit down and sat next to her on a stump.

He was just about to open his mouth, but she beat him to it.

"I need to go, Hermione is going to wonder about me." Ginny said regretfully, and stood. They had been together now for 8 hours. From 2 in the morning to 10. Draco stood as well, knowing he too would be missed in his dormitory.

"I hate to sound so cliché, but when will I see you again?" He smirked.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "probably at breakfast."

"I mean when will we be alone."

She smirked, matching his perfectly, "I know."

"Hey!" he called as she walked away, "wait!"

She stopped, his voice had that power over her, she turned.

"We're not in a movie, you know." she laughed, as he stood in front of her with an angry mask on his face.

"I know that, Wea- Ginny."

Her eyebrow raised at almost hearing her last name, but she didn't bother to say a word.

"Promise you wont do it again?"

"No, Draco. We have been through this. I can't promise you that."

"Can you at least promise to try?"

She nodded, and then decided to make him promise _her_.

"You're turn. Promise you wont tell anybody about this." She glared daggers at him, a warning stare - tell and die.

He promised, and then they parted ways. Ginny, thinking that things would go back to normal now after that most uncanny meeting with Draco. Draco wondering exactly why he wanted to run after her and press his lips to hers, wondering why he longed to taste her, and how she would respond if he lost his control**.**

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_Well...Yea, again I hope you liked it. I've already written these ones but in the future I will try to make my chapters a wee bit longer =]_

_review, review, review! _


	6. Chapter 6

_Ok, ok, I lied. This chapter is still short. I'm sorry. They will get longer though. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. Please, please, pretty please review! _

_And thank you to: Roxy43, Fairy225, Tigerlily and BLAcKRuby'92. You lot make me smile. Anybody else who reads this does too..cept I dont know who you are, so..review? =D_

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**Chapter 6 Insane**

She lay in bed, deeply breathing and forcing herself not to think. But the voice wouldn't shut up. She longed for peace. But peace was only found in pain, and she had promised.

_Only to try, and you've tried! Now give UP._

She shook her head, trying to make it go away, but she couldn't.

_Go on, worthless, make me leave. _The snake like voice wasn't her Toms voice. He had always sounded so kind. She pressed her eyes tightly closed.

_Ginevra_, a sweeter voice called, but she knew it was fake. She bit her lip.

_I miss you, sweet._

An unwilling smile.

_Don't you miss me? _

A hesitant nod.

_Don't you still love me? _

A single tear.

_Well? _

"Yes."

She found herself standing outside dressed only in a nightgown. She dimly remembered coming here, she shivered and wished she had stayed in bed.

_I need you to help me, Ginevra._

"Anything." She murmured.

_Kill Dumbledore._

Her eyes popped open, had Tom, had her Tom just asked her to do that? Kill Dumbledore? But, he was the most powerful wizard in the world, she couldn't. He was the headmaster! She knew he had taken control again, she needed to get rid of him. She couldn't let him control her, couldn't let him put those ideas in her head.

She began to rub her bare arm on the stone of the castle, the cuts all opened and bled freely as they scraped against the wall. The pain shot through her, screaming through her veins. A smile appeared on her face, twisted by pain.

_No, Ginevra! Don't leave me again! _

She pressed harder. Anything to make the voice go away, anything to make Tom go away.

She knew the truth. She was insane. But nobody else could know, because it was either insanity, or, the worst possible thing. She was either insane, or Voldemort could get into her head. She pressed harder, pulled. She would place her bets on insane. She kept rubbing her arm on the rocks, opening old wounds, creating new ones and dirtying everything. She was in a frenzy, Tom had left her thoughts and she knew he would be gone for a while but she couldn't help but think that the worse the pain was, the longer he would be gone.

She heard footsteps. Real, solid actual person footsteps and she wanted to hide. She made herself stop rubbing her arm, and hid the raw skin behind her back. Again she was out past curfew, it was 12, and she didn't think that her luck from yesterday would carry on. She worriedly looked at her surroundings, noting dully that there was nowhere to hide. She pressed herself tightly to the wall, hoping whoever it was didn't decide to look too hard. It was Snape, and he had Draco's arm and was dragging him along.

She could only hear snippets of their conversation; something about a vow, Draco insisting he didn't need help. Then they were gone. She wanted to follow and listen, to figure out a secret of Draco's because he knew one of hers, but Snape scared her. And she was in no state to be found. She wouldn't go. But she couldn't help wondering what they had been talking about. She was sure she had heard Dumbledore's name in the mix. She tried to forget the eavesdropping, tried not to contemplate what was going on with them.

She didn't feel any rush to get back upstairs. She stopped at multiple paintings, and stared deep into the eyes of a suit of armor. She was on her gaurd however; listening attentively for any noise other than her own. She got upstairs sooner than she had hoped to and considered going back downstairs, but she heard more footsteps - probably an oncoming prefect - so she knew her escapade was finished.

"Flobberworm." she muttered to the Fat Lady, who glared at her in a most sleepy way before opening. Nobody was in the common room, but the fire was still burning happily, she sat in front of it on a squishy arm chair. Soon her head was leaning against the back of the chair and her eyes were drooped. She let out a content sigh before forcing herself to stand and head back to bed, this time without an annoying voice in her head.

---

"Ginny? Hey, are you up yet? Ginny! I need you're help!" Finley's high voice pierced through Ginny's sleep effectively. She rubbed her eyes before sitting up and looking at the girl.

Finley was tall and thin with chocolate brown waves and matching wide eyes. Her skin was pale with no hint of a tan. She was in Ginny's year, and while the two weren't friends they were friendly.

"What do you need?" Ginny asked through her yawn.

"Well, I need to practise my bat bogey hex and everybody knows you are the best at it."

"Why do you needa practise that?"

"Because that stupid Lukas dumped me! That's why."

Ginny had known that was coming, Lukas had been avoiding Finley as late as last year. She didn't offer any sympathy because Finley was the type of girl who would be made angrier by that, instead she stood up.

"Ill be right out, lemme get dressed first."

Finley nodded and left the room, leaving Ginny alone and only slightly disappointed that her sleep had been interrupted. She pulled on her plain white t-shirt and her comfiest day robe overtop. She covered her legs in a light blue pair of skinny jeans. She didn't bother to look in the mirror, but did run her hands through her tangled hair a few times. All in all it only took her five minutes, and then she left to help Finley plot revenge on her ex.

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_Well...um..didja like it? Didja hate it? Why? Review and tell me =D_


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm Back! Thank you so much everybody who has reviewed, favourited or put on alert. You have no idea how much it means to me. It truly does make me happy. This chapter introduces some new characters. I hope you enjoy it, please review to tell me what you think. _

**_Disclaimer: Yes, I know I have forgotten this in the previous chapters but that doesn't mean I own Harry Potter. So to get that straight.._**

**_I Do Not Own Harry Potter! _**

**_Thank-you =]_**

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**Chapter 7 Good Advice**

The common room was busy and Ginny was worried about practising the hex inside of it. She scanned the room, looking for possible victims. She saw Fred and George bent over a large package. Probably something for a new joke shop item. They could definitely be the victims. Finley was bouncing on the spot and glaring at Lukas who was pretending not to notice the girl he had been unofficially dating since first year. Lukas was talking with a large group of fellow fifth years and Finley looked incredibly lonely without him. Ginny linked arms with the girl, "it'll all blow over." she said, truly believing her own words. Lukas and Finley had broken up multiple times before, but it was as if they were meant to be and nothing could keep them apart.

Finley sighed, "not this time, Ginny."

This too was normal, Ginny bet it would last two weeks at most.

"Lets not practise here, it would warn him." she laughed and they went in search of an empty class room.

As they walked Finley talked, Ginny was glad that the girl trusted her, but she wondered if she had the emotional strength to deal with problems other than her own.

"I don't know who I am. Not without him. I mean, I keep thinking about first year and how scared I was. I'm a muggle born, well, you know that, and my parents were pretty psyched but my twin sister, her names Faye, she didn't get a letter. And its really not fair at all for her, and she was terribly upset and I don't blame her. So I was mad and I didn't want to be a witch and I didn't go buy any of my things and, gosh, you know all of this already don't you, Ginny?" As a matter of fact, Ginny did know these things but she also knew that if Finley remembered that for sure she would stop talking so Ginny shook her head.

"Oh. Never mind then, I was so sure I had told you.." Finley muttered obviously trying to remember who it had been if not Ginny.

"Well, go on, you didn't buy you're things?" Ginny said, pressing her classmate to continue before she remembered telling her previously.

"Well, I didn't buy my things and I planned on just staying home and I didn't care cause they couldn't do anything about it! And Faye wasn't talking to me because she felt so bad about me not being able to be a witch just because of her. But then just two days before I was supposed to get on the Hogwarts express McGonagall popped by my house, and I mean popped literally she apparated! Right into a muggle neighbourhood, too!" Finley sounded shocked even though it had been five years since the day, she was starting to get into her story and Ginny didn't resist being pulled behind her.

"Well there she had gone and gotten me everything I would need and she apologized because she didn't know if the robes would fit - but they did - and she asked me if I really didn't want to come here and I said yes, most emphatically too! Faye was proud of me for standing by her and my parents were too even though they really wanted a witch in the family. See, they thought I could conjure up food and money and we would never have to do a days work ever again! Ha!" Finley's words were speeding up with familiarity and as she walked she opened classroom doors, in search of a suitable one.

"But then McGonagall took Faye aside all alone, and it was weird that my dad let her cause he doesn't like it when he doesn't know everything, you know? And I don't know what McGonagall said to Faye but when they came out Faye had been crying and she gave me the tightest hug ever and said she wanted me to go and that she would help me study on holidays and that we'd be twins even if one of us went to school a zillion miles away. So I mean, I really had wanted to go and then since Faye said yes I couldn't not, right? So I told McGonagall I'd go and here I am. But on the train I was really upset, cause McGonagall had told me how to get to platform 9 ¾ and I could, but my mom and dad and Faye couldn't get through. So I had to say bye outside with all my things and I was terrified to go through all alone because I didn't know anybody and it was just all so strange. And I was worried about not being able to get through the barrier, too. But I did it, of course. And I was sitting all alone in my own little compartment, just trying not to cry, cause I felt really lonely, you know? And then Lukas came in. He noticed I was upset, and both his parents are magic so he didn't really know how I felt but we talked and stuff and then some other kids came in and he introduced me and we were best friends since then. And I've never been _magic_ without him. I can be a _muggle_ without him, but not a witch! I don't know how to live here without him by my side, he's my best friend. And now I can't even talk to him cause I am too heartbroken and mushy over being dumped."

Finley dropped onto a chair in the room that they had finally found and looked up hopelessly at Ginny.

"I'm just so mad at him."

Ginny nodded. Then she pulled a chair over so she could sit by Finley.

"Well, you guys never break up for good. And he is probably just as lost without you, I mean, he's never been a Hogwarts student without you either." She said with what she hoped was a comforting smile.

"But he had all those friends before I did, he can get by."

"They're all your friends too! Who cares who knew them first?"

"I don't know… but I am not a fun person to be around when I am not happy! And trust me Ginny I am not happy right now!"

Ginny frowned at her, what did Finley know about unhappiness?

"Well pretend?" The answer seemed obvious to the girl who had been doing it for years.

"I can't!"

"I am pretty sure that you can."

"I don't want to."

"If you pretend long enough you will start to believe it." Ginny lied.

"And then Lukas will believe it? And he will be so mad that I can be happy without him that he will beg to have me back?"

Ginny knit her eyebrows together, "Um, I guess so, yea?"

"Well in that case I don't even need the bat bogey hex, do I?" Finley said, grinning.

"Right."

"Well then lets go, I need to be in public so Lukas can see just how HAPPY I am!" Finley shouted, jumping out of her seat and somehow making it to the door before Ginny had even began to stand.

"You know, I think you may be overdoing it just a bit." she murmured to herself, not wanting to bring the girl down.

"Lets go!" Finley called in a singsong voice swinging on the door. Ginny had to jog just to keep up with the overly excited Finley. She was pleased when they arrived at the great hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table, right beside Lukas.

Finley took a deep breath and Ginny sat on the sidelines, once again watching as life went on around her.

"Hey guys!" Finley chirped, and was responded to by all except Lukas. An animated conversation ensued. But Finley and Lukas, who usually could complete each others sentences managed to avoid each other throughout the conversation. That is until Finley saw fit to poke him. Lukas turned to face her for the first time, shocked.

Everybody was quiet, wanting to see the drama unfold between their favourite couple.

"What was that for, Fin?" Lukas demanded, subconsciously using his nickname for her.

If anybody else were to call Finley, 'Fin' she would be pissed but hearing it now she smiled.

"I needed to get your attention somehow, didn't I?" she smirked innocently.

Ginny sighed to herself, forcing him to talk to her was so not part of the plan! She mentally scolded Finley.

"Why?"

"Well, you still have my potions text book and I need it back."

"Oh," Lukas looked at the ground with a soft blush, "we could get it now if you'd like?"

The two stood and Finley winked at Ginny as they passed.

Gossip ensued. The general consensus was that they would be back together by the time they got back to the great hall. Nobody asked for Ginny's opinion, she didn't give it. She ate half a piece of toast and stood.

"Ill be in the library." She announced, before walking away from the table.

She passed Harry, Hermione and Ron. Ron stopped her.

"Were you sitting next to a boy?" he demanded angrily.

"Yes, I was. I don't see how it concerns you though."

"Well who was he?"

"His name is Price, he is in my year and, no, we are not together. Can I go to the library now?" She asked

Ron frowned, "well why were you sitting next to him?"

"Because all the other spots were taken, why do you sit next to Hermione?"

Ron sputtered and his ears turned red, he shoved a massive bite of scrambled eggs into his mouth. "go 'oo va bary" he said through his food, and both Harry and Hermione laughed at him, "disgusting, Ron." Ginny growled before stalking away. She chanced a look at the Slytherin table right before she left the great hall, but no pale blonde was present. She sighed. Her advice had worked for Finley, pretend to be happy and you will be, why wouldn't it work for her?

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_So, as happy as I am with my reviews/favourites etc, they have made me greedy..and I want more xD Review, review, review. And does anybody think I am putting these up too fast? Should I allow a healthy, like, day between each chapter or is this fine? It might start to slow down soonish because the chapters are catching up with what I have written, then theres the whole 'life' thing goin on, but Ill try my bestest to keep them close together. _

_REVIIIIIEW!_


	8. Chapter 8

_So I realize I thank you guys all the time but, just cause I 3 you thaaat much I am gonna do it again. _

_To: Fairy225 and Roxy43 - __You guys make me the happiest girlie ever. xD Thanks for your reviews cause they're keeping me writing and they're also making me do happy dances which make my family give me the shifty eyes =]_

_Heres chapter eight, please do enjoy. _

**_Disclaimer - I promise I'm not getting paid for this. And I also promise that it isn't mine. _**

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****Ch 8 Notes**

The library was a wonderfully quiet escape. Which means that when Tom was present it was no escape at all. But for now he was gone and Ginny was free to revel in the bliss the library, and the strict Ms Pince who prevented anybody from ruining her inner peace, allowed her. She pulled a book from a shelf as she passed it, not even bothering to look at what it was about because she knew she wouldn't really be reading. And without letting her gaze leave the floor she ambled all the way to the back of the library, around a corner and, still looking at the ground, to her table. It wasn't really her table, of course, but it was the one she always sat at. She chose it because it was so separated from the rest in the library. It was the only table so close to the back and it was nicely hidden by the corner and the surrounding book shelves. She got to the table and set her book on top of it, she was about to pull out her chair. There were four chairs at this particular table, each cushion a different color representing the four houses. She always sat in Gryffindor chair, just because if found in another she knew she would be bothered.

"Excuse me Weasley, but if you looked up you would notice that this particular table is, in fact, taken." His cold voice was a shock for her, she was used to the warmth it had contained not so long ago. She looked up defensively, "there's room." she muttered sitting down anyways.

So much for not caring about being seen with a Gryffindor, she thought bitterly.

She opened the book with a slam, then looked up in alarm. If Ms Pince had heard she would surely be kicked out. But, lucky for Ginny Ms Pince was nowhere to be seen.

"Probably off with Filch." she groaned with an 'ew' face on.

One of Draco's perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised in question.

"Oh. I mean, Ms Pince… A-And Filch? You know? They're y'know, like, together.. Or well everybody says so.." She cut herself off as his face became more quizzical and hers reddened.

"Yes, I had heard." He said, his voice was still akin to ice, but he had a smile and his grey orbs were peering at her in what was not his usual hateful manner. She rolled her eyes and he looked hurt.

"You're confusing." She sighed, and he glared daggers at her. He opened his mouth a few times to talk, which was weird because Draco Malfoy always had something to say right on cue. Then he ripped off a piece of parchment and dipped his quill in his deep green ink.

_I don't think people knowing about our friendship, if that is what it is, is a good idea. _

He had written this quickly and yet it was neater than anything Ginny could have written. She bit her lip, note passing seemed so juvenile, but she couldn't deny that what he had written was true. She pulled out her own shabby quill and damaged ink bottle. Plain and black, she felt quite embarrassed in front of the well off teen.

_That's what it is. And I agree, regretfully. _

He had to applaud her efforts at sounding mature and clever. A smile, carefully disguised as a smirk crossed his face. He had seen her writing utensils, and had to work hard not to feel any pity for her. Perhaps, he thought, he could buy her new things? But that would cause question among all who knew her. He tried not to think about it, not to let it bother him. She deserved the best. He had never seen Ginny's writing before. It was messy and rushed, and, most importantly it was unique. Each letter had a strange curve to it that he had never seen before in anybodies writing. He started to write back, careful not to reveal too many of his feelings in the short reply.

_Have you kept your promise? _

She couldn't lie to him, because even though they weren't really talking his eyes were piercing into hers and she knew how bad her face was at revealing the truth.

_Technically speaking. _

Draco was not pleased with that response, what did she mean 'technically speaking?' he glared at her not bothering to write anything.

Ginny got the hint, he wanted her to explain. She pulled the parchment back.

_You better burn this when we're finished!_

_I didn't cut. I just, kind of, opened them with a wall. And I am really not interested in discussing it in a note so if you want anything more than that then we will simply have to find a real way to speak. _

Draco liked her liveliness, loved how she wasn't afraid to be blunt with him. People were forever sucking up just because his father was so rich. Ginny didn't. He heard familiar voices headed towards them, so he quickly penned a response and left it sitting on the table before giving Ginny what he hoped was a 'meaningful' stare and a smile. She wrinkled her nose at him and stuck out her tongue, but she knew why he was leaving. Before he turned he replaced his mask. He waited until he saw her face fall, knowing then that he looked normal, then he turned on his heel and briskly walked away. Walked away until he saw Blaise Zabini, and then he had to try to get his pesky mind off of Ginny and back onto being _him_, the him people knew and hated.

Ginny watched him as he wrote frantically, knowing that the voices had spooked him and he would leave. She didn't look at the note, she just watched him.

He smiled at her, and his pale face was totally transformed when he did. He no longer looked like the vile villain who delighted in torturing others with his words. He was no longer the son of a death eater. No longer a Slytherin boy of whom she was expected to hate. He was Draco, just the way she liked him. But then he replaced himself with a covering of sheer ice. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the transformation.

In one second he had been a friend and an ally, and now, he was exactly who he had always been. He walked away quickly not even looking back at her. And she kept watching where he had been even once he was gone. She waited until she heard his cool voice next to somebody else's. Only then could she be sure it was real. She closed the book that she had never planned on reading and looked down at the note.

Her words next to his looked rough and uneducated. Unworthy. She didn't bother to read what he had written last, probably a hurried goodbye, a reminder not to give their friendship away. She wanted to remember his smile instead of his mask, or his hasty retreat. She folded the note and placed it in her inside pocket, she would have to burn it then. She folded her arms on the table and fit her head comfortably on them. When will Pince kick them out? She pondered, soon hopefully. They're disturbing my quiet time.

_Then I suppose you won't welcome me. _His voice questioned playfully, yet sounding hurt. If it was possible for her face to fall any more then it did. But it was her brown eyes that showed the regret, he was back which could only lead to one thing.

"Sorry Draco." She whispered. Before letting Tom take her back through memories.

_They were sitting together in the chamber, this particular room was Ginny's favourite. Its warm fire brought a healthy glow to the dungeon room and the couch offered protection from the harsh floor. They were curled on the couch together, Ginny's head resting comfortably on his chest. She wasn't afraid anymore of his lack of a heartbeat. To her, now, it was normal. Tom was running his hand over her flaming hair, petting her. _

"_Ginevra, my pet, why must you return to your common room?" He asked with a hint of annoyance well hid by the whiny tone in his voice. _

"_Because, if I don't go back people will wonder, Tom. I wish I could stay with you, though." _

"_Then do. Stay with me here, forever. Ill protect you from your cruel brothers and the ignorance of Harry Potter." _

_She pretended that the hiss in his voice when he said Harry's name came from her imagination and not real hatred. _

"_But, Tom." she complained half heartedly, but when she found herself unable to come up with a reason against that she changed her tune, "that sounds really nice". His lips curved into a triumphant smile. _

"_Then its settled? Tonight you will really be mine?" _

_She shook her head, "I'm not ready."_

"_Ah, that is where you are wrong. You are more than ready, believe me." _

_Ginny lifted her head from his chest, "But Tom, I can't leave my life."_

"_I am you're life." _

_And she couldn't deny it. _

_And she still couldn't deny it. _

_There was only Tom. _

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_Well....Um...what do you think? Good, bad? And I forgot to ask in the previous chapter but what do you think of Finley? She was supposed to be mean originally but I couldnt make her be like that and now I quite like her. Do you agree? Any review is rewarded with 'squees' and, you know, letting out your feelings on stuff is veeery healthy._

_haha Review!_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.._**

_I LOVE: Reviews, the people who review, people who favourite, people who put this on story alert, and even people who read this and do none of the above [but i would 3 you even more if you reviewed!] _

_I hope you are entertained by this, tell me what you think. _

_Who is excited about New Moon tonight? I am not particularly excited and I probably wont go to see it til its been out for about a month, so I can avoid crowds, but thats not the point. _

_Are **YOU** excited? Yes, no, why? And if you review just to answer that question you should probably mention the story Somewhere...please? =D_

_Enjoy! _

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****Chapter 9 **

Once he was sure he had his hold on her Voldemort again decided to order her to kill Dumbledore. He thought that two students on the job would be better than one.

Draco and Ginny, murdering the headmaster and then running into a field of daisies. Well, not really, they would be running to him. To be perhaps, his most loyal followers. And of course the ones with the most potential.

"Kill Dumbledore." He said in his most commanding tone. Knowing his voice would run through into his Genevra's mind. Knowing that because he wanted to sound like Tom, and because she wanted him to sound like Tom, he would. Again, however he was angered.

"What is going wrong?" he asked himself. He was in a rage. His slit nose was flaring and his eyes were even eviller looking. And so he decided to head to the Malfoy dungeons for some stress relief. He reminded himself to continue torturing the girl who continued to deny his wishes.

"You stupid, worthless girl. Who are you without me? Nobody!" He hissed.

He knew of her self harm, and he didn't like to admit that when she hurt herself he could not get into her head. He had spent many nights trying to find a way around it. A way to ensure she had absolutely no means of escaping him, and he knew he would find a way. He was the most powerful wizard in the world the pain of a teenaged girl would not get in the way of his plans. He saw a girl crumpled in the corner of a cell, he watched her for a moment until the rise and fall of her chest promised her she was alive, then he used a simple spell to turn her hair the flame red of Ginevra Weasley's, and with some final words to Ginevra he began torturing the innocent muggle, not caring if she lived or died, wishing she was Ginny Weasley.

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She was still sitting at her table in the library in body, but she really had no clue where she was. She was too deeply gone, with her Tom.

_Kill Dumbledore_

She shook her head. "I wont." she said stubbornly.

He was quiet a moment, her sense of self began to come back. She blinked a few times before remembering she was in the library.

_You stupid, worthless girl. Who are you without me? Nobody!_

Again his voice was not Toms. This was the voice of a heartless psychopathic murderer.

"Go away!"

_There is only one way to make me do that, and you know I will return._

Ginny stood abruptly and ran from the library. She ran until she was outside. And when she was finished running she was exactly where her and Draco had sat by the lake. It was midday. She knew that if she hurt herself now she would most likely be seen. Nobody was around, at least, not close enough to hear. But she kept running anyways. All the way to the forbidden forest. She only entered a few paces but the forest was clearly dark and she was frightened to be in it. Nonetheless she opened her bag and dug to the bottom. She pulled out her rescuer, her knights shining armour, her blade. She pulled up her right sleeve, the haphazard cutting on the train had kept Tom away for longer than she was used to. The arm was still red and raw, some cuts had purple bruises along them. She smiled at the sight of her handiwork. Finally she could drown out his hurtful words, his hateful speech slowly being erased by blood.

She found herself sitting cross-legged, back against a tree. Her arm was bleeding freely and she couldn't make herself try to stop it. It wasn't enough though, because she still remembered. He had opened the vault. And now memories of her first year were flooding, and memories of his harsh words over time were being restated, all of her worries were being justified, and all her flaws pointed out. And it was all his fault. She dug deeper into the flesh of her forearm and dragged up. Then she made ten sideways cuts through that one. The wounds hurt more when they overlapped. And pain made it all better. Relief.

She could see no more space on her right arm. She stared in awe at the puddle of blood on the ground, not even noticing the stains that marred her clothes, hair, and body. It wasn't enough. He had left his mark and none of hers were blotting it out. She pulled her shirt up revealing the stomach she had so recently attacked. She was calmer now and searched for blank canvas before carving into it.

LOST

The word was jagged and dripping. But it helped. The O was more of a square, but she didn't mind.

She was lost without him, lost with. Lost to her family and any friends. She was lost in the addiction that was cutting. She had lost who she had been. Lost in the confusion of her own mind and no matter how far she stumbled, no matter which direction she turned she would only get farther from the path. She was too far gone to ever turn back. She closed her eyes.

Sometimes, when she cut, she felt at home. She wasn't lost anymore. She knew exactly what she was doing and nothing could hurt her. No one. She had that feeling now. She was flying, she was being held strong capable arms. Nothing Tom said could hurt her now. She was found, finally alone with herself and her irregular heartbeat. Finally alone.

"Come on Lukas - not afraid are you?" She heard Finley teasing. She could imagine the scene that was playing out only a few trees away. She could even imagine being found by them. And yet she did nothing to hide herself, nor what she had done.

"Well, Fin, it is against the rules." She heard Lukas laugh, she heard the loud footsteps - closer, closer, closer.

"Since when have we ever cared about rules?" Finley voice was raspy and Ginny imagined that now she had Lukas pressed against a tree.

"Never." his word was like a soft breeze, Ginny could barely tell it had been there, but she was sure she had. And she heard Finley give a short gasp, and was sure the couple had started kissing.

Ginny closed her eyes, but she wasn't safe anymore. She was glad for the temporary relief she had gained, but it had been very brief. At least Tom still hadn't returned.

"Lets go further." She heard Finley giggle seductively, and she heard their footsteps retreating into the forest.

Once she was sure they had gone Ginny packed up her razor. She was already covered in blood and she didn't want to staunch the bleeding yet, if at all. So she covered her arms and stomach and muttered a weak 'scourgify' so clean away most of the blood. She only hoped that nobody would notice the weak girl, tearstained and troubled, walking into the castle with remnants of her own blood and forbidden soil on her robes.

Who was she kidding? She didn't have to hope. Nobody would notice. They were too afraid to open their minds to the truth, to accept their role in the drama. They would ignore it even if they noticed because they couldn't handle her honesty.

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_La la la la la, draco malfoy i really loove you leedeedeedeedaaaah oh right, its finished. Ummmm.... haha... I was... =S_

_Anyways, review. And I apologize for the lack of Draco in this story so far, is it only me who wishes he was around more often? =D_

_Have a wonderful night [or day, depending on when you're reading this...]_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer- I, Aly, do NOT own Harry Potter. _**

_Well.... I just, just, just posted chapter nine and I shouldn't be posting this because the chapters that are already written are catching up with me as I try to write more. Seriously, ten chapters in three days? Ohhh boy. But I just can't wait._

_Anyways, Review, review, review. Even if you did for chapter nine because this is a different chapter and I want opinions. And also what do you think should happen? _

_Enjooooy!_

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****Chapter 10 False Alarm**

She made it all the way to her dorm without being caught. And she had just changed her clothes when Finley walked in, dirty and grinning. Ginny patted down her thick black sweater, and managed to resist a wince. She wasn't ready for Finley to talk to her. She wanted to be alone, she wanted to scream. Ginny smiled unsteadily at Finley anyways, and then she fell back onto her bed.

Her head was spinning. Her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest. Her hands balled into fists as she tried to hold the contents of her stomach where they belonged.

"Tired?" Finley asked nonchalantly as she pawed through her suitcase.

"mmm" Ginny moaned, unable to speak.

Finley laughed, it tinkled its happy way to Ginny where it proceeded to tear at her.

"Maybe if you didn't sneak out all the time you wouldn't be so exhausted." Said the snobby voice of Bethany Mayes.

Finley gasped, apparently shocked to hear that Ginny would sneak out, she continued looking for something but in her typical animated way asked, "where do you go?"

Ginny shook her head, "walks." she mumbled feebly before rolling onto her stomach.

She felt the floor shake as Sabrina, Bethany's best friend, walked into the room. She felt like everything was rolling. She tried to close her eyes tighter.

"Yea right." Sabrina scolded, "don't lie to us.. we're your friends."

Friends, friends, friends, friends, the word echoed throughout Ginny, making her shake.

She felt somebody standing over her and her body tensed, but it was just Finley.

"Hey, Ginny are you okay?" she asked worriedly, but Ginny had fallen into a deep slumber and would not be woken.

"Faker!" Sabrina coughed, before stomping to Ginny and shaking her violently. Ginny didn't react, she was off in a world of silent blackness, busy wondering if this is what death felt like.

Now the three girls were surrounding Ginny's bed, and they were beginning to worry terribly. Finley took charge.

"Bethany go find professor McGonagall - now! Sabrina get a cool damp cloth and something smelly. Ill stay with her."

The other two girls looked at her petulantly.

"Why do we have to do the scurrying around?" Bethany asked rudely, placing a hand on her hip.

"Because my mum is a nurse so I know what to do better than either of you, now go!"

Sabrina pursed her lips, "hey, wait, what's a nurse?" she asked quizzically.

"A HEALER! GO!" Finley shouted and the two Gryffindor girls made a hasty exit.

Finley tried talking, tried making Ginny sit up, tried shaking her, pinching her and even considered taking out her wand, but thought better of that one first. Nothing would wake Ginny up.

Sabrina got back first, she had a damp shirt rather than a cloth and Finley, with her short temper had to take a few deep breaths before taking it.

"You are a witch you know? Could have conjured up a bloody cloth!" Sabrina glared at her, "well, sorry if I don't think well under pressure." she responded angrily before heading to her bag.

"Something smelly?" Finley reminded her.

"Well what do you think I was getting? Lip gloss?" Sabrina asked as she pulled out a bottle of love potion.

Finley looked at her, shocked and annoyed.

"You want her to smell you're _love potion_?" she exclaimed in exasperation. Ginny had stirred slightly and Finley quickly placed her attention back on her. The cloth was resting on her forehead and over her eyes.

Sabrina handed her the potion bottle, "I haven't made it for anybody yet all she will smell is the potion. No side effects."

Finley rolled her eyes and didn't wait to read the side of the bottle before placing it under Ginny's nose.

Ginny smelt two things. There was the deep, dark and familiar scent of Tom but battling that was something cool and fresh, something that reminded her of what ice would smell like and of being pelted by winter air as she flew. She wished the overpowering Tom smell would leave so she could be surrounded by the familiar, yet mysterious new smell. She wondered where the two were coming from.

"I think she's waking up!" She heard somebody exclaim and she tried to look in the direction of the voice, who's waking up? She wanted to ask but her mouth wasn't cooperating.

"I still think she was faking. Oh, and I couldn't find McGonagall."

"Obviously she isn't faking. Since when does Ginny 'fake' anything?"

"Well I don't go near her so I wouldn't know."

"Yea, Finley don't forget about first year. She totally could have killed you!"

Ginny sighed inwardly, well it was nice to know that she wasn't just paranoid. People really did think that way.

"Well she didn't."

"That is so not the point. What about all of those other people?"

"Yea they missed so much, and she even got her brothers girlfriend, what's-her-name, that girl who is always with Ron and their tag along?"

Ginny could only imagine the bewildered look that had to have gone with Finley's words,

"You have a seriously skewered version of reality."

"She even pretended to kill herself, what an attention whore!"

She heard a deep sigh, probably from Finley who was surprisingly protective of her considering they were hardly friends.

"Can we please stop talking about this, she needs the hospital wing." She felt two pairs of arms lifting her up and she tried to struggle against them but again was incapable. She felt the ground hit her when they accidentally let her fall. But she remained crumpled on the ground in pain. Her eyes had shot open during the fall and she had not made a single move to lessen the impact.

"Ow." She groaned.

"She's up." she heard Sabrina announce.

"brilliant, she can carry her own heavy ass to the hospital wing." Bethany grumbled. Finley ignored the comment and squatted beside Ginny.

"You okay hun?"

"Yea, just fine. I was, I am tired."

"You really freaked us out."

"I'm fine. Promise" Ginny lied, trying to steady her swirling head.

"Wanna go to the hospital wing anyways?"

"No." She exclaimed emphatically, and then, trying to cover it up she shook her head. "I can never get sleep in there, its creepy"

Finley laughed lightly, "I totally get it. At least let me help you back to bed?"

Ginny let Finley grab her hands and pull her up. And she leaned on the girl heavily when she realised just how weak she was.

Once Ginny was comfortably laying on the bed Finley sat on the edge of it.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked, looking in Ginny's eyes for any trace of a lie.

Ginny nodded, "I had a pretty stressful summer, and I am really tired. But thanks for caring."

"I'm telling all our teachers for today and tomorrow morning that you're in bed, ill bring you you're homework."

Ginny gave her a small and shaking smile.

"And once you're feeling better I had earthshaking news. Ill give you a teaser now - Lukas and I are back together!" She leaned down and hugged Ginny excitedly, "your advice worked!"

"I'm glad. You two are great together. But, Finley, I am gonna go sleep now." She said apologetically and Finely nodded and stood, "Just call if you need anything." she said before walking from the room.

Ginny didn't go to sleep just yet. Instead she sat up slowly and made sure she was alone. She drew the curtains around her bed and peeled off her clothes.

Sure enough they were bloody and the wounds she hadn't cleaned or covered were still bleeding. She put the blood stained clothes in the bottom of her bag and dug out pyjamas. Before putting them on she used a fresh white cloth to wipe away blood, and to put some pressure on the more heavily bleeding wounds. She knew now why she had fainted. She had lost too much blood, she was loosing too much blood. She knew she should ring for Finley and go to see Mme Pomfrey, but instead she slipped into her pyjamas and fell asleep instantly too weak to see any consequences that could come into play.

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**Preview:**

_"He didn't want to appear weak, to appear desperate. But he was desperate"_

_"Within its depths he knew there were numerous beasts, harmful beasts, beasts that could kill an innocent fifteen year old girl."_

_"She reached forward slowly with her right arm, resisting the undeniable urge to scream and biting her cheek until it bled."_

_"She_ _had expended most of her energy getting here and she doubted she would be able to make it back to bed if she turned around now,"_

_I stole the preview idea from a story I read a while back, I forget whose it was but I will try to remember. That is just random excerpts from the next chapters, what do you think? Should I always do it, should I not do it at all? Random fact: I stink at decisions. So haaaalp! =D _

_"Had he really just thought the word 'passionate'?" _


	11. Chapter 11

_Here is chapter eleven for your reading pleasure. Please do review. A special thanks to my few reviewers I don't mind that there are so few of you cause you are so incredibly awesome. _

_As to when will there be less Voldemort and more Draco, I am trying to incorporate Draco in more now but Voldemort remains unless Ginny is focussing on the pain, or until she finds another way to get him out of her head. [hint]_

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**Chapter 11 Beasts**

Draco stood by the lake, hands in his pockets and shivering.

"Where the bloody hell are you, Ginny?" He growled to himself.

He had been very clear in his final part of the note;

_I need to see you again. 12 by the lake, where I brought you._

He replayed the words in his head, perhaps she had been confused as to the night?

Maybe she had been caught trying to get here?

Maybe people in her dorm were still awake and therefore she couldn't leave.

Or maybe she didn't want to see him.

He frowned deeply, why did care? She was the daughter of a blood traitor, a sworn enemy of his, she liked Dumbledore and Potter. He turned towards the castle, nobody was rushing towards him. He decided to allow her 10 more minutes, and then he would leave.

His scowl deepened, he was unused to having to wait for anything or anyone.

Where was she? He turned his back on the castle with a considerable amount of effort, he directed his gaze over the lake. Within its depths he knew there were numerous beasts, harmful beasts, beasts that could kill an innocent fifteen year old girl. He began to pace, why did he tell her to meet by the lake. It was too dangerous. What if she had been here early and fallen in? He forced himself to stop. Stop pacing. Stop thinking. Stop worrying about the passionate blood traitor.

Had he just thought the word 'passionate'? About Ginny?

He thought about her subdued brown eyes and the flaming hair that surrounded her vulnerable, pale, freckled face. He thought about the sore cuts that littered her body, he thought back, back as far as he could remember to before her eyes had been so blank. He remembered looking scornfully at her in the bookstore, but what of her eyes? Had they always been so lonely?

He smiled in memory, her eyes had not seemed quite so shadowed in the library as she had stuck out her tongue. That had been about 5 seconds of life in those eyes, and he tried to decide if Passionate, really described her. He wished she would let him find out.

He knew it had been ten minutes, but he wanted to wait more. She had to come. He needed to see her, speak with her, make sure she was ok. He glowered, his gaze fixed on the crescent moon. She would not come. He knew this now. And so he needed to stop himself from worrying about her. She had obviously been cutting herself for sometime, and she obviously knew how to handle herself. She would be fine. He tried to push her crestfallen face from his mind, but all he could manage was a thin wall around it, a wall that threatened to fall down at any time. He gave up and began to take long strides back up to the castle. He wouldn't wait for her any longer, he didn't care about the blood traitor no matter how unstable she was, he didn't want to know why she had not 'technically' broken her promise, he didn't care! He wouldn't let himself.

---

Ginny slept fretfully. Everything hurt and she was aware that Finley had come in at least four times to check on her, she took care to act peaceful whenever these investigations took place. But, more disturbing that either of those things was that Ginny was sure she was missing something. She felt terribly ill at ease as if she was forgetting to do something incredibly important and she couldn't for the life of her guess what. She couldn't toss and turn for fear of opening some of the barely closed wounds. She had slept for many hours, but pain had woken her. And now she couldn't return to her dreamless slumber. Everybody in her dorm had finished classes, supper and night time conversations and everybody was asleep. Except for her. She felt her leg twitch slightly, and felt a stray piece of parchment graze her foot. She wanted to sit up and grab it, throw it off of her bed but she didn't know that she could physically do it. She decided to take it very slowly. She sat up, the process took ten minutes and she was close to tears once she had done it. And then she reached forward slowly with her right arm, resisting the undeniable urge to scream and biting her cheek until it bled. Finally her hand closed around the parchment. A small square of paper. She couldn't quite place how it had found its way into her bed. She unfolded it and muttered 'lumos' to read the paper that had grabbed her attention so completely.

The moment she was finished she felt like crying.

Everything had been familiar, until the last line of Draco's small, neat, green writing;

_I need to see you again. 12 by the lake, where I brought you._

Her hands balled into fists as she checked the time. It was already one. There was no way he had waited for her. But she needed to know. She stuffed the note into her pyjama pants pocket and slipped on a pair of slippers before hurrying out of the dorm. In fact she was barely shuffling along, to weak to do anything quickly.

It took her too long to get all the way down the steps, too long to journey across the darkened landscape. When she got to the familiar spot Draco was not there. Her heart fell to her feet and lay there brooding with the fragments of her soul. She didn't understand why it hurt so much that he was not waiting for her with an annoyed smirk on his angel face. She had expended most of her energy getting here and she doubted she would be able to make it back to bed if she turned around now, but she also doubted that she would stand back up once she had sat. She decided it didn't matter, no matter where she sat this night no sleep would rescue her. She pulled off her slippers and dangled her feet into the black, icy water. The depth of it frightened her even in the day, but she was feeling adventurous. She didn't mind the cold that was biting at her toes, and slowly spreading. . It was a pleasant tingling sort of pain. Once the pleasant feeling of the water disappeared she needed to focus on keeping her feet submerged. She tried kicking them but was too frightened to wake something in the deep and quickly halted. She kept her feet in the water until they were too numb to be cold and then she held them longer.

**- - -**

Draco wanted to return to the lake, take one more look around. Make sure she had not stood him up. He was pacing in front of the Slytherin dungeon as he tried to make his decision. He didn't want to appear weak, to appear desperate. But he was desperate. He needed to see her, needed to be with her not under false pretenses. Without letting himself discourage the decision he hurried back to the lake. Surely she would be there, he told himself. And she would be waiting for him just as he had waited for her. He was glad that she would know how it felt to need to wait and worry. But he sped his walk not wanting her wait to be as horrible as his had been, nor as long. He was outside, their time was dwindling. He thought he saw a shape by the lake but he reminded himself that it could be a trick from the shadows. He truly hoped it wasn't. Again he sped up, nearly jogging now. Yes, that was a person. And who else could be sitting on the lakes edge at past one in the morning? Only her. He was so close he could almost smell her, almost hear her voice. And then she fell into the water and his half jog turned into a sprint. He pulled her ghostly body from the lake before any of the beasts he had just been thinking about could claim her.

* * *

**Preview: **

_"You make me feel helpless." He hummed into her ear, "powerless."_

_She battled to keep herself still and right where she was._

_He absently played with a strand of hair, making it very difficult for the young Weasley to concentrate on keeping her secrets._

_"I didn't wait for you."_

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_Well... what do you think? I really would like to know =D_


	12. Chapter 12

_I greatly appreciate everybody who has favourited/put on story alert, and also a big, Big, BIG thank you to everybody who has reviewed. I know this chapter is short as usual but the next one is better at about 3000 words and almost 6 pages on word. I find it very hard to make large chapters but I am gonna start trying harder. I hope that the speediness of the updates makes up for the length of the chapters. Well, anyways without any futher ado here is chapter twelve. Enjoy =D_

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**Ch 12 Lies**

She lay like a corpse dripping on the cool grass, her skin pallid and her lips blue. He scrambled to pull his wand from his pocket, finally understanding why his father was always lecturing him about having it easily accessible. Finally he pointed it at her, "arefacio"

He clothes dried with the spell but, as it was meant only for items it would not dry her hair. He murmured the incantation to create blue flames and once he had a fire cackling on the ground he hurried towards the girl. She had not stirred in the time that had passed and she looked just as cold as she had when he had pulled her out. He didn't understand. How could she be so cold when she had only been in the water for a few moments? He made a mental note to ask her once she had woken. He picked her up gently, carrying her to the fire and sitting down in front of it, Ginny curled in his lap. He draped his cloak around her shoulders and wrapped his lean arms around her, trying desperately to warm her. He knew the better idea would be to go immediately to Mme Pomfrey but something stopped him from doing that. Ginny had started shaking, and while usually this was a bad sign it was movement and it relieved him. He rubbed her arms vigorously, hoping to start up circulation.

"You make me feel helpless." He hummed into her ear, "powerless."

Draco had always wanted power, wanted glory, wanted to be feared. And for the most part he got what he wanted. He knew that in time he would be by Voldemort's side, he knew that he would be forever remembered for murdering Dumbledore. He sighed as his fate played through his mind. He had always known these would someday be his jobs, and parts of him wanted to share in Voldemorts triumph, but the part that was more Draco than Lucius, the part of him his father had never managed to eradicate screamed in revulsion of what he knew he had no choice but do. He didn't want to be a murderer. He didn't want to be feared. He didn't want to be hated. He didn't want people bowing down at his feet and dying in his name. And he didn't have a choice, his name and his family had bound him to his path. He looked down at the still shivering Gryffindor. He knew killing her would please his father, and maybe even Voldemort. He entertained the thought of allowing her to sink back down to the bottom of the lake, playing it off as a tragic accident. But his screaming conscience extinguished the thought. He could never kill the tortured angel. Her shivering was slowly subsiding, but her eyelids had yet to flutter. He begged her to wake, to open her eyes.

"Please tell me you're okay" His tormented eyes watched her, waiting for a sign. Her lips were leaning towards pink rather than blue. And still she was motionless.

"Wake up, Ginny!" He pleaded with her limp, empty body.

The mismatched pair sat for what felt like hours to the aware one.

Her eyelids fluttered, then tightened and a soft whine blew like a fine mist from her mouth. She curled in closer to the warm body holding her. Her arms moved around his neck in a tight hug as she hastily tried to press every bit of herself to the much warmer person.

He refrained from gasping when she moved, instead allowing the dazed girl, still with closed eyes, to grip him tightly. He expected her to open her eyes soon but still he was overcome with the desire to hold on to her just as tightly as she was him. He shakily wrapped his arms around her, trying his best to touch her as little as possible, trying not to hurt her. He found it ironic that he now was the shaky one.

"Draco," Ginny murmured, breathing him in. Her eyes were open now, and she felt warm though her feet were killing her. She could feel his strong arms around her, though they hovered over her skin seemingly frightened to touch her.

"I'm cold." She lied, sending the words directly into his ear, making him shudder as he realised she really had awoken. Unhesitatingly his arms were tightened around her. He ran a hand through her still damp hair, "I'm sorry, Ginny." She fought the two responses her body had sent her; one - squirm away from him. Two - cuddle closer.

Either one would send him signals she didn't want. She battled to keep herself still and right where she was. She felt whole with him and she didn't want to frighten him away. "I was the late one." She retorted, "my fault."

"I didn't wait for you."

"You came back. For me." For me had been an after thought, who would have ever guessed that Draco Malfoy would save her life? Who would have ever dreamt that he would come back just for her?

"I needed to see you, I wanted to be sure you were okay."

Ginny frowned, glad he couldn't see her face, "I'm okay."

She had the immediate compulsion to take back the lie.

"Why were you late?"

"I fell asleep."

He continued to stroke her hair, lulling her eyes shut. "Why did you fall in the lake?"

Ginny stiffened, "What're you writing a novel or something?" She asked defiantly, "I said I am fine." He absently played with a strand of hair, making it very difficult for the young Weasley to concentrate on keeping her secrets.

"Why're you so defensive?"

"Leave it be, Draco. Please?" She pulled back to look him in the face before repeating, "please."

His hands rose to her face and pulled it slowly towards his own. "You will talk to me, one day." He told her. Their faces were but a centimetre apart, she noticed the blue green flecks in his silvery eyes. He stared into the deep golden brown pools of confusion. And then he moved forward - desire having won over everything he had ever been told; the soft kiss telling him all of it had been lies.

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**PREVIEW of Chapter 13:**

Voldemorts lip curled in disgust,

"Who diverged this information, Crabbe." 

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_EEEEEEEEE XD _

_Well...erm, what do you think? I really hope you liked it... ummm reviews are always appreciated and loved and such. Any thoughts you had on this chapter [or even previous ones, if you didn't review them] would be great. And should I stick with the previews?_

However, once she had fallen asleep her dreams took their familiar turn right back to her future life with the boy she knew she loved.

"Nobody controls me, Ginny."

He looked fairly sick. "I wont let him kill you, Ginny." "Then why would you kill me yourself?"


	13. Chapter 13

_Its early and my eyes hurt and I am sleepy so this note and the one at the bottom will be short. Thanks for reviews, favourites and alerts - they mean a lot to me. Enjoy unlucky chapter 13 =D_

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**Chapter 13 Spy**

The kiss was short and sweet and, Ginny hoped Draco would agree, perfect. She had felt pure passion and electricity through their lips. The stars twinkling in the sky and the lake he had previously rescued her from made the moment all the more romantic. And, all the better he hadn't taken advantage of her. He had used the kiss as a means to show her he cared because one could never fake the emotion Draco had shown with his eyes and his tender brushing of their lips. And now Ginny knew she would tell Draco everything. Because it was only the second time she had experience these feelings, and she knew it couldn't be a coincidence. They laid on their backs staring at the black sky and the stars twinkling in the heavens, pointing out the most ridiculous images they could find and being intoxicated merely by the others presence. Ginny had her head resting on Draco's chest and she felt him yawn. She turned to look at him, delighting in the thump of her heart as once again she reminded herself that this was no dream of the past, no carefully scripted lie, this was reality, and somehow it was much better than anything Ginny could have hoped for.

---

The girl had died, quickly at that. The death of an innocent muggle had done nothing to abate Voldemorts stress. Worsening matters was that he still could not weasel into Ginny's mind. Enough time had passed, surely. And surely she hadn't harmed herself again so soon. He cursed loudly and stalked through Malfoy Manner in search of a proper person in which to take out his anger. As it were he ended up precisely where Lucius himself was having a meeting with a fellow Death Eater. Voldemorts interest peaked, but he merely glared with slit eyes at the two until they stumbled far enough through their fear of him to explain.

"Master," both Malfoy and Crabbe bowed.

Crabbe was the one who continued, "I have heard word from my son that young Draco has been seen with the blood traitor girl, Weasley."

Voldemorts lip curled in disgust, "Who diverged this information, Crabbe."

"A fellow Slytherin saw them in the library and Snape has confirmed that the two have been sighted together late at night."

This news could work to his advantage, Voldemort realised. Without allowing either of his followers to gauge his reaction he turned his heel and stalked from the room. He had plans to formulate. In the meantime, he used quite a bit of energy trying to break into Ginevra's mind. He mused that he had finally learned the key of how she escaped him. Soon she would be his. The cold laugh he emitted chilled the very air in his chambers.

--

"Where could she be?" Finley muttered angrily to herself as she glared at Ginny's empty bed. She had woken to check on her friend only to see that the girl had left. She was not pleased to realise that Sabrina and Bethany had been right. But what she couldn't understand is how Ginny had managed to go anywhere at all tonight, especially after she had been so weak. Finley donned her robes over her pyjamas and cursed herself for waking up to check on the red head as she silently left the dorm. The fat lady was happily snoring and did not wake when Finley left the common room and departed down the hallway in search of her classmate. She let her guts guide her as she moved slowly throughout the castle, indisposed to being caught. She found herself outside, and, once she was a breath of relief left her. Nobody checked outside the school and she was quite certain she would not be caught now. She gave a reminiscing look towards the forest; her and Lukas had nearly gotten lost that day. She couldn't hold back a grin as she thought of the boy.

"Lumos," Finley muttered, finally having decided she would run a better chance of finding Ginny with light. She kept walking as a way to keep warm through her light, summery robe and pyjamas. The darkness made her very aware of her surroundings and quite paranoid about what could be lurking just beyond her view. She had always been rather afraid of the dark, however she did not hesitate to frantically whisper 'nox' when she thought she heard voices. She crept closer, against her better judgement. For the first time she was pleased with the darkness and its capability of hiding her. For her part she could see two, or one very large and malformed, people like blobs. She wondered if one of them could be Ginny, and if so why the secrecy. Who could the second blob be? The possibilities rattled in her head; surely it was somebody in their house, in their year. Collin, Lukas, Price, Dawson and Leonard. She immediately crossed Lukas off of her mental list. Then she put her energies towards trying to remember any time in which any of the others had acted oddly around Ginny. She could remember some, but the oddities in their behaviours could only be accredited to them being afraid of Ginny. She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to take a silent breath in. If not anyone in their year, then who? She tried to listen but the two people were talking too quietly for Finley to hear them, especially at the distance she was away. She calculated the risk of being caught if she advanced and was more than a little worried to try it, however Gryffindor's, especially herself, were known for rash decisions and pure curiosity drove her to take her first step forward. Neither blob moved, their hushed words continued at a steady pace.

Finley found herself lacking in her efforts to be quiet because the two students seemed so engrossed in their conversation. Again she couldn't resist a smile as she thought of similarly consuming conversations with Lukas. She tried to focus on the task at hand, but in her excitement she found her mind running. She imagined that the second blob was Harry Potter, a boy she had decided Ginny was quite fond of. Happy as she was for her friend she couldn't quit worrying about why she found the need to sneak away, and why meeting with the person was important enough to risk destabilizing her health even further. She attempted to move closer, and yet the words and voices remained stubbornly unheard. She knew that many more steps would have her caught and she remained in limbo until she decided she could corner Ginny tomorrow and force a reply from the girl. Her goal having been set Finley began the slow process of silently retreating back to the castle, day dreaming about Harry and Ginny sitting in Madam Puddifoots, and then of her and Lukas one day sitting by the lake at sunrise, close to what Ginny was having the luck to experience. She clobbered into bed without event and closed her eyes to dream up how to convince Ginny to trust her with the most well guarded secret. However, once she had fallen asleep her dreams took their familiar turn right back to her future life with the boy she knew she loved. And, as per usual, she slept with a smile on her face.

--

Ginny had felt the presence of somebody else, she knew somebody had been there. But now that presence had disappeared and she would feel quite silly mentioning it to Draco. She were still lying down and she could barely keep her eyes open, however she didn't think it would be worth it to leave him for sleep. He was singing to her in a soft low voice, and song that she had never heard before but she found very relaxing. His calming voice washed over her and the gentle song had her even more tired than she had been. One minute she was listening to the waves as they made music for his song, the next she was blissfully unaware of anything as she fell asleep. She dreamt of dancing with Draco; she was in a grand hall wearing a silky turquoise gown and was dancing with Draco, who was also dressed up. It felt very real, she could feel the white heels pinching her feet, her dress ballooning outwards as she span, his strong but gentle hands on her waist. She span, dipped, was lifted and both of them were having a fabulous time. And then the dream world began to shake. She clung to Draco but soon he was fading, and so she opened her disappointed eyes - and he was there.

She smiled tiredly up at him, relieved that the end of the dream hadn't really signified that Draco was gone. He smiled back and kissed her forehead with his soft lips. She yearned for him to give her a real kiss, but he pulled away.

"Ginny, its late." He sighed and before she could jump in he continued, "I don't want to leave but I think we should. And I don't believe we should meet here again tomorrow."Ginny supposed she looked heartbroken, "Alright." she said coolly. If he wanted to forget all about their friendship of sorts then so be it. She had managed before and she still could.

"However, that is simply because I want you to get your rest. The next night works perfectly, that is, if you would still like to."

Ginny couldn't help but jump into his arms, onto his lap. She did however stop herself from kissing him; it was his job to bring that one up. And, no matter how much she may want to she promised herself she wouldn't until they had talked about the first one. Draco held her back, "I guess that is a yes, then?" he laughed and she nodded red faced. He stood up with her still in his arms and she closed her eyes and held on tighter.

"Draco! I hate heights!"

He looked confusedly at her, "but…you play Quidditch?"

"Well, I trust the broom because I am controlling it." She explained

"You don't trust me?"

"I'm not controlling you."

"I wont drop you."

"I don't doubt it"

"Then why can't I carry you?"

"Because I'm not controlling you."

"Please, great leader, tell me where to go." He said loftily and Ginny laughed despite herself.

"Take three steps forward?" She laughed. And he took the largest steps Ginny had ever seen.

"Take one step left." He barely shuffled over. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Put me down, you're ridiculous!"

But Draco didn't move. She started moving around in his arms and he tightened his grip, a smirk on his face.

"I thought I was controlling you" Ginny pouted.

"Nobody controls me, Ginny." he said seriously, and then he started to spin.

Her laughs and screams echoed over the land. But soon the screams subsided as she realised he would not drop her. Once he had gotten too dizzy he stopped, and he even let her down. She stayed curled in a hug close to him.

"I am never, ever letting you pick me up again, Malfoy." She growled.

"You couldn't stop me." He demonstrated, and again her feet had left the ground. She didn't bother to squirm this time. But he let her down quickly.

"You seem so happy." He murmured to the ground, and Ginny was sure a conversation she would have rather skipped was arriving.

"I am happy right now." She said carefully as she stepped out of his hold.

"Why?"

"You make me happy." she told him truthfully, hoping her honesty wouldn't lose her the friend she had made.

"You really shouldn't hang out with me, you know that?"

Ginny nodded, "I'm not exactly the best for you either. But if you are ok with it, I am too."

The silence was deafening and Ginny tried to prepare herself for his cold voice and ice-mask telling her that no, he was not ok with it.

"You should be afraid of me, Ginny. I could hurt you. Knowing me hurts you."

"Not knowing you seemed to hurt more." she reminded him gently, she had no thoughts of self harming while he was around.

"So far. You don't know my father."

Ginny scowled, "I can take care of myself Draco. I am _not_ afraid of your father hurting me, in case you had forgotten I quite like pain."

"I don't want you to get hurt! Its so pointless to try to make you stop hurting yourself if I know that once I accomplish it, maybe even before I do somebody will hurt you even worse! You don't know how the cruciatus hurts! I can't let you DIE, Ginny!" He exploded, and somehow even as he yelled at her she felt better.

"Draco, nobody can hurt me here. And once I am at home I will be fine. Nobody even knows that we have talked to each other, trust me we are being very secretive."

"People watch, Ginny. They're always watching for my father, for the dark lord, too."

"Then let them find out."

His eyes were fire, which was a nice change from the ice but Ginny found herself preferring the middle ground, his hair was tousled. She wanted to run her hands through it just to see what it felt like. His pale cheeks were reddened with cold and anger. His mouth was moving, pronouncing each word perfectly. She forced herself to listen.

"They will KILL you, Ginny. Don't you understand? I can't let you die because of me."

Ginny smiled at him in what she hoped could rival Luna's calm way.

"Voldemort has possessed me, he tried to kill me. And I survived. I think that he would quite like killing me whether or not I spoke with you during school."

He looked fairly sick. "I wont let him kill you, Ginny."

"Then why would you kill me yourself?"

"I would never! Why would you say that? You know I would never hurt you! I want to keep you safe!"

"By keeping yourself from me you could easily kill me. And I hate to tell you this because I feel like I am pushing your hand but the truth is that when I'm with you I don't want to hurt. And when I'm not… I need to."

"Have you?"

Ginny nodded, not wanting to lie to him because she didn't have to. She only hoped he would understand.

"Let me heal you, Ginny." She shook her head vigorously, "No Draco. You can't."

"I know how, I promise. Please let me help you."

"He'll come back." She shuddered, thinking back to his harsh words and his twisted command.

"Who? Tom?"

"Yes."

"How can we make him go away?"

"Only pain."

"There has to be another way!"

He scooped her into a tight, protective hug. "I will find another way, Ginny. He needs to get out of your mind."

She peered at him, "Draco, do you think I'm crazy?"

"No. I think he can force himself in, especially because you have been possessed by him before. Now Ginny, this is important. Has he ever tried to make you do something?"

Her eyes widened before the boy, did he know? Could he? She tightened her lips, should she tell him?"

"He sometimes tries to make me cut. And.."

"And?" Draco prompted.

"Twice now this year he has told me… he said.. He wants me… to.. Kill Dumbledore."

"He…he wants me to kill Dumbledore too."

The two students leaned on each other for support, neither wanting to admit to the relief they felt in telling somebody. Ginny wondered if that had been what Snape and Draco were talking about. Draco mused that if Voldemort wanted Ginny to help then he wouldn't hurt her for fraternizing with him.

"I don't want you to be able to get hurt next time we meet."

"The room of requirement then?"

Draco nodded, having forgotten about that room.

"Midnight, not tomorrow but the next night. And please, Ginny try to get some rest."

Ginny nodded at him and, before she could convince herself not to, she pressed her lips to his. She let her tongue trace his lips before he opened them, and then she could barely tell where she ended and he began. Everywhere was contact, she could feel their mutual feelings mesh, and she felt as if their very souls were pressing against each other. Her heart was pounding and when she pulled away she was dizzy from the passion. She didn't say a word, instead she gave one more delicate kiss before hurrying away to her dorm. Her mind couldn't leave the Slytherin and as she lay in her bed she thought of their shared kisses and about his obviously worry about her. She fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in years. No Tom was there to disturb her happy thoughts, no dorm mates were awake and waiting for her, no teachers had noticed her on her trek to the Gryffindor tower, and some of her strength was returning. It still hurt when anything touched her wounds but she forcibly forgot about that and returned her mind to Draco. The ice prince, who she know thought was a big softy. The dancing dream returned and replayed for her all night; sweet nothings whispered in her ear and a night filled with the boy she could see herself loving.

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_-yawn- Well anyways I really hope you liked this chapter. Its the longest yet.. Have a good day, I think Im gonna go have a nap, hahaha. REVIEW!! _


	14. Chapter 14

_Well I am back even though I should be at school, being irresponsible and all that good stuff. _

_=D_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always please review!_

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**Chapter 14 Acceptance**

"Ginny are you awake?" Finley whispered through the drawn curtain. Ginny groaned and rolled over, "Finley?"

"Yep!"

"Go away."

Ginny hid her head beneath the warm pillow but knew that Finley wouldn't go away. It was unfortunate because she had been having such a pleasant dream and now she couldn't remember it, only that Draco had been an intrical part of it. Not surprisingly she felt the cool breeze as Finley pulled her curtains away from her bed. Ginny grimaced at her through the pillow but remained cocooned inside her blankets, one of which had been knitted by Mrs Weasley herself the very year Ginny went to Hogwarts for the first time. She was particularly fond of the old holey quilt because it reminded her of past times. The quilt was grey with seemingly random purple, navy blue, and green strands of yarn knitted in often enough to catch the eye. Molly had sewn a bright red fleecy area along the edges of the entire blanket, and at the bottom left corner had stitched GINNY in bright yellow. It had been a project to get rid of all her old materials, and also to give Ginny a blanket so she wouldn't feel quite so lonely at Hogwarts and Ginny adored the thing, so much in fact that now it was worn and ripping in places. She sat up immediately when Finley pulled that quilt, among others, off of her. This left Ginny curled up in her pyjamas shivering. She decided that now was a good time to remove the pillow from her face and revealed an angry face even as she hid her grin.

"Nice bed head, Ginny!" Finley teased her holding up her blankets, "it's time to get up."

Ginny rolled her eyes at the Gryffindor, "it's Saturday." she reminded her groggily. Finley merely smiled at her friend, "I know that. But you have a lot of explaining to do," she pointed at the table by Ginny's bed, "I brought you toast."

Ginny stuck her tongue out but saw no way to escape the bright eyed girl, "fine." she muttered swinging her legs over the edge of her bed and rubbing her tired eyes, "am I at least allowed to get dressed in peace?"

Finley nodded, "Ill give you 15 minutes. Go!"

Ginny growled at her but sluggishly opened her trunk anyways. She pulled out the first thing she saw which happened to be a dress she had bought from a muggle shop and had yet to wear. It was white and the bottom ballooned out if she span, it had yellow zigzagged vertical lines and a slightly plunging neckline that made her hope Draco would see her. She quickly pulled her white cardigan on over top, leaving it unbuttoned and then she checked her clock. Only ten minutes left. She slipped her feet into white flats with hard to see flower stitching in them. She ran a brush through her hair in a rush and used a weak concealing charm for the bags under her eyes and then she was ready. Looking in the mirror she knew that with more work on her face and hair she might look like she fit in. But she didn't care to work harder to make herself look presentable, the only one she would want to impress was Draco and he had seen her looking much worse than she did now. She left the dorm with minutes to spare, but Finley was tapping her foot impatiently only a few paces away. An unobstructed grin broke onto Finley's face when she saw Ginny and she hurried to push her back into the dorm.

"I know you don't care to work a bit harder but you look much to pretty for me not to!" she pulled out her wand and began working on Ginny's hair. Soon Ginny felt like nothing more than a doll. Finley had curled her red hair and then charmed it into a messy bun with some curls falling down and framing her face. She had also applied a thin layer of dark brown eyeliner and gold eye shadow onto Ginny's untouched eyes, she topped it off with a layer of mascara and only then did she declare Ginny 'ready'. Ginny grabbed her thick red backpack before they left the room and swung it onto her back, much to the dismay of Finley.

"It ruins the look, you know." She complained as they left the common room, Ginny's new look eliciting many stares while also managing to turn her bright red.

"This look is more you than it is me, Finley." Ginny admitted as yet another person stared at her. Her stomach growled and she cursed herself for not having eaten the toast.

"Where are we going and why is the great hall not on the list?"

Finley shushed her as they passed Harry, Ron and Hermione. Ginny smiled and waved at them, meaning to pass by as usual but Finley stopped.

"So, Harry, are you tired?" She chirped innocently, much to the discomfort of the boy.

He shrugged and looked questioningly at Ginny, as if to say 'what's wrong with your friend?

"Why would he be?" Hermione questioned as Ron chuckled in the back ground.

"No reason." Finley murmured slyly, "well, come on Ginny we've got lots to do!" She said grabbing Ginny's arm and dragging the confused girl away from the just as baffled trio.

"Bloody hell, Finley what is wrong with you today?"

Finley grinned evilly but didn't say a word until they were well away from anyone and everyone. Only then did she sit down and stare at Ginny in a way that made it clear she was to sit to.

"We couldn't have just talked in the common room?" Ginny asked warily.

"I know you're secret!" Finley revealed dramatically, flinging her arms wide and winking. Ginny couldn't help but think that it was a weird reaction to have when one found out about a friend cutting oneself, but Finley always had been odd so she immediately started to think of a believable excuse.

"I saw you and Harry last night, in fact, so you can't hide it!" Finley wiggled her eyebrows at Ginny, but she was overcome with waves of relief and hilarity and couldn't speak.

"So, how long has this been going on?" Finley asked stroking her chin thoughtfully.

"Never!" Ginny giggled, "I liked him for a bit but we've never snuck out together especially not last night!" Later on she would curse herself for not running with the lie, but for now the absurdity of what Finley was saying made her only option to deny it.

"I saw you though, you weren't in bed so I found you. And it had to have been Harry, who else could it have been?"

Ginny bit her lip, then mimed locking them up and throwing the key but Finley shook her head at her disapprovingly.

"Come on, tell me and I will tell you what happened with me and Lukas yesterday!" she bartered hopefully.

"I can't." Ginny sighed, leaning back on her hands and staring at the canopy of trees.

"Why? He can't be that bad."

"Why don't you tell me about you and Lukas first?" Ginny smiled crookedly, trying to get herself off the hook.

"Noper. I am much to interested in your late night escapades with mystery man."

Ginny through a leaf at her, but it didn't make it far enough and Finley looked unimpressed, "come on Ginny, I'm your friend." she said slowly, "don't you trust me?" Ginny had never really had a friend, and she was loath to lose Finley so soon after becoming her friend so she decided to be part way honest.

"Well, it's a lot like Romeo and Juliet, so I can't tell you who he is."

She thought Finley's face would be broken apart by her grin, whereas her own ears felt so hot she was sure they would fall off any moment.

"We just started talking this year." She could see Finley actively considering who it could be, she hoped Draco wouldn't even cross her mind.

"He's a really good listener, he is really caring and deep and even kind of shy, but he's also really silly and fun when he wants to be."

"Shy, that crosses out Collin and Price, and Leo is way to serious to be silly and fun ever, at least I think so. Plus, I don't see how he could fit into the role of Romeo. What house is the guy in, can you tell me that?"

Ginny shook her head vigorously, "NO!"

"Not ours then?"

Again Ginny shook her head, although in a more guarded fashion this time around.

"Ravenclaw?"

Ginny stuck out her tongue, "you can't just go through the houses that's not fair!"

Finley made a face, "well if you wont tell me the house could you at least tell me the year?"

Ginny sighed, knowing if it came down to it she had to choose one or the other, "sixth." she muttered folding her arms.

"And you're absolutely certain he isn't Harry?"

"Positive."

"If I guess it will you tell me?"

Ginny wrinkled her nose, "um…no?" she wavered.

Finley smiled at her, "you'll tell me eventually, I'm sure of it."

Then they stood up and began walking back to civilization, "I'm HUNGRY!" Ginny roared as she sprinted forwards, tripping over a tree root and laughing at herself.

They ended up at a fast paced jog all the way to the great hall, they fell down red faced and still giggling beside Lukas and his friends.

Lukas snaked his arm around Finley soon after she sat down, and though unsurprised Ginny couldn't help but be happy for them.

Finley grinned around the group, "doesn't Ginny look fabulous today?" She warbled, lacing her hand with Lukas's and tilting her head backwards to eat grapes directly off of the vine. It still amused Ginny to see the girl eating them in that fashion but she had since the first year, and probably before. She heard a few replies from the guys and blushed as she felt their eyes on her. Dakota, a short waif of a girl with wacky blue hair and matching eyes grinned at her, "I love the dress. I think I have one like it in lime green."

"Thank-you," Ginny said graciously as she continued to eat her soup.

"Look at those Slytherins," Dawson spat glaring across the room towards Blake, a Slytherin fifth year boy who was both very fit and very attractive. Blake had skin pale enough to rival Malfoy's with contrasting dark hair and eyes. Currently he seemed to be joking with his friends about something, and he very pointedly looked towards the Gryffindor table a number of times.

"They're disgusting, don't even deserve to be a part of this school." Leo said in his signature collected voice, but anyone could tell by his sour face what he thought of the opposing house.

"Filthy snakes." Collin agreed, his camera still around his scrawny neck.

Ginny felt like she should say something, so she forced out a few words; "god awful excuses for wizards they are." She was rewarded with smiles from everybody. But as she glanced back towards the Slytherin table she had a hard time convincing herself of her own words. Draco was sitting with Blaise, and they seemed to be deep in discussion, there was space on all sides of them and when Pansy tried to scoot closer to Draco she saw him give her a chilling look. Needless to say Pansy backed off, Ginny grinned widely before returning her gaze to her own table. They were still bantering about the Slytherins so she poured herself some pumpkin juice and drank it quickly.

She looked curiously at Finley and Lukas, neither of which had said anything yet and was jealous of the obvious adoration they shared. She thought about Draco and their secretive nights that were glorified in her mind. According to her watch it was just barely lunch time. She gave another longing look towards Draco before forcing herself to engage in the conversation with her peers. With the help of Finley she thought she had a chance of being accepted, and she knew it would be stupid of her to ruin it by being antisocial. However, when a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts she had no qualms about muttering an excuse about the library before rushing out of the hall. Rather than torture herself with the library she found an empty room and practised her charm work, trying desperately to ignore the increasingly demanding words of Tom. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, but she hoped that by distracting herself with her wand work she could hold him off. She smiled cheerily right before destroying a pillow, then she made the next one do cartwheels even as the feathers from the first danced merrily around the room. Eventually however she couldn't keep up the pretences. The feathers drooped to the floor where they lay lifelessly and Ginny was once again drawn into the warm, comforting arms of Tom as his deep, creamy voice washed away her doubts of the boy of her past.

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_Well what do you guys think of this one? I'm not the bestest at conversations but I tried so I hope it isn't too terrible. Please, oh please review. It makes me a much happier person when you do! hahaha =]_


	15. Chapter 15

_I apologize for the wait on this chapter, I have had it written up for a while now and just havent had a chance to open FF. Yes, that is indeed how busy I am. But right now I should be doing [more] homework and I have deemed this more important, I hope you enjoy it. I hope it is worth the wait. Do review =D_

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****Chapter 15**

I can't help falling out of love with you, Tom.

_You will never stop loving me, Ginevra._

Why am I feeling so guilty?

_Because, Ginevra, you're lying to me. Holding things back. Not doing as your asked. _

I don't understand, Tom. How?

_You have told me nothing of your friendship with the Malfoy boy, you have continuously denied my wishes for you to kill Dumbledore. _

I'm sorry, Tom. Forgive me?

_Will you kill Dumbledore with Malfoy?_

Yes.

She felt his presence leave her mind peacefully for the fist time. She was left feeling empty and alone, the numb feeling was enough to make her want to pull out her weapon but she resisted. Her mind was focused now on Dumbledore. On how she could help Draco kill him. She was elated that Tom had not forced her away from Draco. She smiled weakly as she planned. Once she had a firm mental list she descended from her classroom in hopes of finding Draco. She was still well aware that he didn't want to meet tonight but she needed to talk to him, to help him plan. He was still sitting in the great hall. He had Crabbe and Goyle beside him dutifully. Ginny watched him until he looked up, then she raised her eyebrow significantly and walked purposefully from the hall. She knew he would follow her, but she wondered if crying would not have been a better method. His over protectiveness and caring nature would have had him here much sooner. She finally saw his blond head edging towards her and with a swish of her flamey hair she continued walking up the steps and all the way to the empty room. After five minutes of solitude the door creaked open. Draco stepped in awkwardly with a confused look on his gorgeous face, their eyes met and Ginny waved foolishly.

"I need to talk to you." She said excitably motioning him to sit on the chair next to her own, once he had done so she began again.

"I've decided to help you." She chirped, grinning wildly at him, but he did not express the same joy he knitted his eyebrows together and cocked his head to the side, "with what exactly?"

Ginny rolled her eyes at him, "don't be daft, Draco, with _Dumbledore_!" She was making no effort to hide her voice until the last word, which was barely audible. Malfoy shook his head, clearly angry but unable to shout in broad daylight in the middle of the castle.

"I don't need any help, thank you very much. Especially from you!"

Ginny mashed a hurt look onto her face, "why not? I'm smart."

"He will kill me when I don't succeed, and nobody is supposed to know, and you aren't supposed to be on the dark side, and I'm supposed to do it by myself, and if you're helping and we fail he might kill you too and I already warned you that I won't allow you to die!" He gusted in one big breath his narrow eyes travelling all over the room as long as they could avoid hers.

"Well lets see shall we; he wont kill you when we do succeed, which we will. I know nobody is supposed to know but I do so there's nothing to be done about it. I'm not on the dark side, I just want to help out a friend. That could even be considered being on the 'light' side. You're not supposed to do it by yourself because Tom told me himself that I was to help you, and again, we wont fail so we don't need to worry about either of us dying." Ginny counted off the points on her fingers staring deliberately at him even though he refused to meet her eye. Draco shook his head violently, "no Ginny, you can't. I wont let you!"

She placed one delicate hand on his shoulder but he jerked away, "I told you knowing me would hurt you and look, I was right."

"No, Draco. Tom wanted this. Its not your fault."

"IT IS MY FAULT!" he roared not caring about people hearing, "It's my fault and because of me he'll kill you! HE WILL KILL YOU!"

"Not if we succeed."

"He's goddamn Dumbledore we _wont _succeed Ginny. I have never for a minute thought I would succeed."

"That's why I am here."

"NO!"

Ginny remained calm, she had known he would react badly and she just needed to wait for him to calm down enough before he would accept her.

"I wont let you, I can't."

"Draco, come on, I can help you."

"You can't, I wont let you, you can't." He murmured, head in his shaking hands.

_Tell him the dark lord commands it. _Toms voice sounded in her ear and she did exactly as it said.

"How do I know? What if you just want to help me because we're friends?"

_Tell the boy that if he were to send an owl to the Malfoy manor asking he would receive a hand written letter from me himself, but remind him that I would be very unhappy with such a hindrance._

Ginny told him in a cold voice. Draco looked mournfully at her.

"Is it really true, Ginny. Must you really help me?"

Ginny nodded, offering a composed smile as well.

"I have some ideas too, I'll do anything to help. What are your plans?"

"First I have a question for you. Why do you want to help me?"

Ginny raised her brows and frowned at him, "Tom told me to." She said is if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Draco didn't say a word but his face fell and he looked more than disappointed with her words.

"Well in that case we will meet as planned in the room of requirement."

Ginny nodded unhappily, but she stood with him. She stood on tiptoe to hug him around the neck but he did not hug back. She let go. Looked at him, sighed.

"I guess I will see you then, then." She said finally in defeat.

"Goodbye, Ginny. Keep your promise." He muttered before striding quickly from the room and leaving Ginny feeling a whole lot less giddy than she had been. The rest of the day passed slowly with Ginny trying to do homework but being unable to focus on her work. She tried to come up with more Dumbledore ideas but nothing else would come, Tom had left her lonely and she fought to resist the urge to cut herself, killing Dumbledore was seeming like less and less of a good idea as the minutes drug on. She tried to sleep at six, but it didn't work and when Finley and Dakota came into the dorm Ginny told them she felt ill and was not going down for dinner. However once it his 6:30pm her stomach was rumbling and she decided to hurry down for a bite anyways. Half way there she ran into a couple smooching in the corridor and that almost did make her sick so she turned back up towards the dorm, but then she was reminded of Draco by a painting of a tall thin blond man playing poker so she turned back down. This time, Ginny promised herself, she would not turn around. She made it to the great hall and ignored Finley's looks as she sat herself away from everybody else and grabbed some sliced cantaloupe and a glass of milk. She had sat down facing the Slytherin table and she let her eyes travel over each of her rivals until she landed on Draco. He was talking with Pansy, and sitting close enough to her to make Ginny's blood boil. She could feel the heat in her ears and cheeks so she looked back down at her plate, she had finished the cantaloupe with ease so she placed a croissant on her plate and fed herself by tearing pieces of it off. She continued to stare at Draco, he seemed quite distant with Pansy and she tried to think about how his eyes looked when he was around her. She couldn't be sure but she thought that they usually held a lot more life then the dull, dreary grey eyes that were staring boredly right through the crowd. She smiled at this, glad her presence made a physical difference in Draco and she looked up at the 'sky'. It was dark and cloudy but she didn't mind that tonight, especially because her and Draco would not be meeting. She allowed herself to briefly remember the lusty kisses and the peaceful comfortable moments, the emotional talks. She finished the croissant, and when she looked up Draco had left the Slytherin table, Pansy was also gone. Ginny gulped down the rest of her milk and left the great hall all without having said a single word. Unfortunately she heard Draco's voice almost the moment she had left the hall. Instead of turning around and sitting in the noisy hall she hid and listened to him and Pansy.

"She was _staring_ at you!" Pansy complained loudly to Draco's shushing.

"The filthy blood traitor was obviously out of her little mind." he comforted in a much quieter tone.

"But Blaise saw you in the library with her Draco."

"She sat at my preferred table and I did not leave. That is until her presence was too much to bear."

Ginny felt the tears roll down her face but she ignored them as she listened to the encounter compulsively.

Pansy giggled and swatted Draco's arm, "well as long as the two of you haven't decided to be friends or anything more, I hear a lot of boys think she is quite pretty" The comment was made off handedly but Ginny knew what Pansy was hoping for in a reply. She mentally begged him not to do it.

"Her pretty? She is hideous, Pansy. Wild red hair and freckles, she is dirt on your shoes." Pansy leaned up to kiss him but hit his cheek when he looked to the side, "I need to go, Drakie." She cooed before leaving. Ginny let out a sob and Draco must have heard but he did not react, instead he headed calmly towards his own dorm. He never once looked back. Ginny flew up to moaning myrtles washroom. She dug around in her bag for her razor. She leaned weakly against the wall.

"Nobody cares." She reminded herself.

Draco. She had thought he was her friend, he really had seemed to care about her. Finally, somebody had cared. But he didn't. Obviously it was all fake, all of it lies. She knew she shouldn't be this shocked, she had gone quite a long time with nobody and she could continue. But it was harder now because she knew what it felt like to be happy. She knew what it felt like to have somebody not want her to be hurt. She could remember trusting him. She began pulling off her cardigan but stopped when the tops of her arms were revealed. Somehow they had escaped over the years unscathed. She didn't want the cuts from Tom to merge with the cuts from Draco. She pressed the blade against her arm roughly and drag.

Push, drag, bleed. Push, drag, drip. The more pain her arm felt the less the loss of her first real friend would hurt her. At least now she knew, she mused as she cried. At least now she knew that the perfectly real scenes were lies, at least now she knew that any form of love directed towards her was wrong. At least now she would never fall for it again. She counted only nine deep cuts, but they didn't bleed too terribly and she didn't bother to take good care of them. She pulled her cardigan back over her arms and went to the dorm where she quickly replaced the cardigan and its one ruined sleeve with a thick, baggy black sweater that was meant for boys. She curled up tightly on her bed even though it was only eight. And she fell asleep.

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The day passed slowly. She finished all of her homework and read ahead, in fact she was sure that Hermione would be proud of her. If only she could find her voice and talk to the girl. Ginny said not a single word all day but she trudged downstairs for meagre helpings of breakfast and lunch. She explored the castle silently and tried to self teach non verbal magic - she wasn't good at it. Finally she dragged herself down the great hall for supper, glad that the day was almost finished. Her upper arm still hurt and pulsed from the night before, when she had snuck a look at it she had noticed the bruising around each cut and she supposed that was why it still hurt, but a more tragic part of her said that the wounds still hurt because she was still hurting from Draco's betrayal. Unlike with Tom more pain had not eased her suffering. She sighed and poked at a grape with a toothpick. She pushed on her throbbing upper arm absently with her left hand. The nine thin cuts had not been taken care of very well, she knew. However they had not been bleeding badly and so she was not worried about her own well being. In fact it was all she could do not to make nine more cuts to keep the others company. Finley was looking at her worriedly but Ginny avoided the girls gaze. As much as she enjoyed having a friend other than Draco she worried that Finley would soon find out about her secret, and she knew Finley was not the greatest secret keeper. She feigned a stomach ache through the feast, refusing to look towards the Slytherin table where she was sure she could feel many eyes on her. She even tried to participate in the conversation with her peers but found herself drowning in the useless chatter. She missed Draco. Finley put a hand on Ginny's shoulder lightly and comfortingly before returning to the larger conversation. Ginny was glad that Finley understood her, she didn't want a big show. She stood up abruptly and smiled at Finley to show she was alright. She walked at a carefully even pace until she was free from the chatter in the Great Hall. She kept up the pretence as she walked to the girls washroom. But she was interrupted before she could open the door by a familiar hand gripping her own. She turned around wildly, "what do you want, Malfoy?" She growled, her voice feral.

"I know what you are going to do in there." he said calmly, not letting go of her hand.

"Listen, I know you don't care, alright? I heard you last night, loud and clear. So let me take care of myself."

"I do care. "

"You do not care about me, Malfoy so don't lie. I am just a filthy, hideous blood traitor!"

"It was you watching us." He said his voice dull and new understanding lighting in his eyes.

"Yeah, it really was."

"I didn't want them to find out, I was lying, really Ginny."

"I can't trust you anymore Malfoy. I'll help you like I promised but only because Tom wants me to."

"No. I don't want you helping."

"We've been through this Malfoy."

"I care about you too much to let you do this, I guess its just.. just not enough to be your friend anymore."

She tore her hand from his; "If I am not important enough to you to be your friend then it really shouldn't matter to you whether or not I cut, now should it?"

"It does, though. Somebody needs to protect you."

"Well maybe ill host some job interviews, Malfoy. You quit!"

"You promised."

"I promised to try. And I have, but that's over now. And so is our fake little friendship, okay? Leave me the fuck alone." She turned and walked into the washroom because she had nowhere else to go. She left Draco silent and shocked standing outside, but he didn't follow her in. And after a few minutes she heard his purposeful steps leading away from her sanctuary. Only then did she pull out the razor, and she pressed as hard as she could on her left upper arm. Counting out nine deep cuts before she shakily placed it on the countertop. She allowed the blood to drip as she replayed his slow footsteps leaving her, she ignored the soft chilling laughter in the back of her thoughts.

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_So again, I feel terrible about the wait but I hope this chapter is good. You should review, yes you, the one in front of the computer. DO ITT!!! =D_


	16. Chapter 16

_Welcome back! Here is chapter sixteen, again I apologize for the wait, unfortunately I will not be able to maintain the speed in which previous chapters have been uploaded. I hope this is still satisfactory. Well, anyways - I really, really hope you guys/girls enjoy this chapter! Read on =]_

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**Chapter 16 Revealed**

"You do not need him." Ginny lied to herself convincingly, "you've managed before." Here her voice lost its confidence, "you're strong enough to be alone." She probably sounded insane but as she was alone in a bathroom during dinner time she wasn't too concerned.

"You're not convincing anybody, Red." a calm voice uttered.

"Who're you? And why are you calling me Red?" Ginny demanded standing quickly and making sure any evidence was well hidden.

"No need to hide, I heard plain and clear. I-I'm sorry I didn't notice before."

"Why are you in the girls' loo? _You_ are a boy. Get out." Ginny snarled defensively unable to see the boy hiding just beyond the corner.

"At the table I could tell you weren't alright, so when you left I followed." the voice explained as Ginny began carefully inching forward.

"So you're a Gryffindor then?" she asked with a running mind.

"Yes." came the gentle reply, "again, Red, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Ginny snapped at him, moving forward slightly once more.

"Not giving you the attention you deserved, being afraid of you, not noticing nor helping." As the boy rattled off the words Ginny rolled her eyes, giving up on sneaking up to him she walked quickly, turned the corner and when she saw the familiar face she raised an eyebrow.

"Leonard?" she asked quizzically, finding it difficult to believe that the quiet boy was the one who had found out her secret.

He had the guts to grin at her, "that's my name don't wear it out."

"You should leave." Ginny warned him.

Leo shook his head, "I disagree."

"Leave." Ginny mustered in a dangerous voice, turning her back on him and walking back into the bathroom, angry that again she had nowhere else to go, angry that this boy who had always been afraid of her was refusing to leave.

She heard his footsteps coming closer and she very nearly hexed him, instead she turned around and took a deep breath all the while glaring.

"What is it that you want, Leonard? You know my secret, now go share it."

Again the Gryffindor shook his head, "let me heal them?"

Ginny really did pull out her wand this time and she held it pointing right at him, hoping he didn't notice her hand shaking.

He took a step closer, not drawing his own wand. "Red," he said gently, searching in her eyes.

"That is not my name."

"I know that Re-Ginny. Its what I call you in my head. Not the most creative nickname in the book but I think it suits you."

She rolled her eyes, still holding her wand at him. "I wonder why."

"Come on, Red, put the wand down."

She felt her face turn into a sneer, "don't make me hex you Leo."

"Let me heal you."

"I do this to myself you goddamn idiot, I don't want to be healed!"

This is when Leo changed tactics. "Who is Tom? And why does he want you to help Malfoy?"

"Petrificus totalus!" Ginny muttered coolly not reacting as the boy fell to the ground unable to move. She quickly went to stand over him, narrow eyes hiding her fears and insecurities.

"I know you think you are helping, which is why I am not going to hurt you. I know your not a bad guy, Leo. However if you _ever _bring this night, or any information you have gained from it up to _anybody_ I will be forced to hurt you. You have no clue what you are getting yourself into. Leave. Me. Alone." She stared into his hazel eyes for a moment, then strode towards the door of the washroom, she murmured the counter before hurrying from the room and away as quickly as possible.

--

Leo stood slowly, dazed. Had Red really just done that? He sighed, he knew he couldn't leave her at the mercy of Malfoy, and of the mysterious Tom fellow. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing she was hurting herself. He couldn't help but feel a bit proud - he had always known Red was an odd one, and she had proved that tonight. But he bit back the thought, the girl probably wouldn't be this way if their entire house hadn't shunned her. He dusted off his robes and hurried from the ladies washroom, not wanting to be caught. He looked down the halls for a flash of red hair, but he saw nothing. In hindsight he had probably gone about trying to talk to her the wrong way. He wondered how he could better begin their next conversation. He ran a hand through his brown hair as he headed to the common room. His blood was still boiling from over hearing the argument between Malfoy and Red. How could the boy have just left her, even though he knew what she would do? He ignored the fact that the other boys eyes had been swimming in tears as he left. His hatred of all Slytherins got in the way of a clear idea of what had happened, his hatred of Slytherins and his long hidden feelings for the girl he had just alienated.

--

Malfoy stood in front of the mirror alone in his dormitory. He had long since forced everyone else to leave him. He was well composed now and with his blonde hair controlled and his grey eyes hard as steel he thought he had never hated himself more. Every single piece of his being urged him to go to her, to beg for forgiveness. But Draco Malfoy did not beg, especially of Gryffindors, especially when he knew he was right. He straightened his robe once more and stiffened his back. Hurriedly he strode from the dormitory and right past his curious classmates with a perfected mask of ice tight on his face. He was heading for the washroom, heading for Ginny. He doubted that she would still be there but he needed to hope. He entered, foolishly not worrying about any other girls who may have been present in the room - luckily there were none. However Ginny, nor any sign of her, could not be seen. He swore loudly before leaving the room with his hands jammed into his pockets. If she were in her common room he could not get to her so he had to hope that she was not. He sped to the room of requirement, and out by the lake - checking each doorway he passed - nothing. Soon he knew it was no longer allowable for him to be out of bed. His eyes were on fire but even as he rubbed them sleepily he knew he could not give up. If he knew Ginny, which he thought he did, then he knew she was not in her common room. And one thing Draco Malfoy didn't do was give up.

It had been hours, he had checked everywhere. His once perfected hair was dishevelled, his eyes were wild and his robes were wrinkled and dirty from when he had thought to check the forest. He tiredly carried himself up the astronomy tower once more, dizzily wondering why he thought it prudent to climb the steps in his current state of exhaustion. It was dark and he could not see very well but her dark outline sitting on the very edge of the tower was more than visible to Draco. He felt his heart jump into his throat, he felt helpless.

Was she going to let herself fall? If so could he stop her? Was she merely sitting there for peace? If he spoke would she be startled and fall?

Her dull empty voice broke his worried thoughts, "why did you come here."

Draco took a step forward looking to help her down to safety, but he was stopped in his tracks, "come any closer, Malfoy and I will jump." her voice held no trace of a lie, and he knew this was too serious to be a joke.

"Why did you come here."

"I needed to find you."

"No you didn't."

She was leaning forward slightly, but enough that Draco could see it. He desperately fought himself, "Ginny don't." came his strangled voice.

She didn't respond, instead she leaned further, but quickly she straightened. She hopped of the sill, and Draco was relieved for only a moment, because then she was back on and this time she was standing. He could see her tiny form being battered by the wind, shaking and swaying on the small sill. He couldn't speak and she didn't seem to have any words left to say either.

She let her arms swing by her sides, making her balance even less steady. He could hear her soft humming on the wind. Suddenly he burst forward, grabbing her hands just as she leaned forward. He could feel her start to struggle, hear her tell him to let go, but he pulled back until she fell, fell the way she hadn't wanted, directly onto Draco who curled his muscular arms tightly around her waist and refused to let go.

--

She gave up struggling once she realised she was too weak to escape his arms. Only once she had given up did she start to cry. And once she had started she couldn't seem to stop. She was lying on her back, head right on Draco's shoulder, but he sat her up and held her in a more comfortable way. His comforting hands never left her shaking body. She was faintly aware of his gentle, cold voice repeating one word. Why. She couldn't respond to the question, she couldn't even think about what she had almost done. Before Draco had come she had only wanted to sit, to watch the stars and to think. But his voice had pushed her off the edge, and then he had rescued her once again. She wanted to thank him but couldn't. She clung to him desperately, forgetting his harsh words for now.

--

She was still shaking, which worried Draco but the tears had stopped rolling down her face. He made her look at him, he cupped her cheeks in his hands, stared into her deep tortured eyes. He tried to understand the girl, but couldn't.

"I am sorry, Ginny. What I said was horrid, I would never intentionally hurt you."

Ginny leaned forward and captured his mouth with her own. She kissed him deeply, then she kissed along his jaw, down his neck. She bit him, then kissed the mark she had left softly. Malfoy couldn't ignore her, but he didn't want to use her when she was like this. Nonetheless when she pressed her pink lips to his he kissed back vigorously. And soon they were tangled on the floor of the astronomy tower breathing heavily. Ginny lead his hand to the bottom of her shirt, he fiddled with the cloth, toying with the idea of pushing his hand underneath the shirt and upwards. But he pulled his hand away reluctantly, he couldn't use her like this, she had just tried to kill herself for gods sake! Draco pinned her wrists down on the ground, kissed her once more, and then lifted his head.

Both of them were silent as they caught their breath, Draco ignored her flushed face and confused eyes.

"Please. Why did you stop?" she finally asked shakily and Draco couldn't meet her eyes.

"I cant forget what just happened Ginny!"

"It was an accident." She tried to free her wrists from his grasp, even though she knew she couldn't.

"It was no such thing."

She stuck out her lower lip, "please, I promise I wont try to do that ever again."

Draco sighed as he looked at the beautiful girl he had pinned beneath him, "if only I could believe you."

Ginny looked pleadingly at him, "you can! I promise. I don't want to die, Draco. I don't. It was a mistake."

Draco let go of her wrists, "what would I do without you?" he asked, more to himself than to her. Ginny was standing now, and she held out her hands to help him up, he took them even though he knew she couldn't pull him up. Once standing he gently caressed her face, "never scare me like that again." He warned pulling her into a tight hug. He kissed the top of her head before releasing her.

"I will walk with you to your, dormitory then." He said, and his voice left no room for argument. Once at the portrait of the sleeping Fat Lady, Draco kissed Ginny once more.

A silent goodbye was passed before Draco walked away, and once the Slytherin was out of sight Ginny cleared her throat, waking the Fat Lady from an alcohol induced slumber.

She whispered the password to the hiccupping portrait and hesitantly entered the darkened common room. Only once she was lying in bed did she release a breath, and mere seconds later she was asleep.

Draco cared. Leo wouldn't dare speak. And she was alive.

In the Malfoy Manor, Lord Voldemort was smiling.

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_Well folks, there you have it. I truly do hope it was good. Please review, any words are appreciated more than you know. Have a fabulous day [or night] and thank you for reading this =D_


	17. Chapter 17

_Welcome back =D Happy holidays everybody. If anybody is Jewish [pick me! pick me!] Happy Chanukah! And too everyone else merry Christmas, or any other holiday that you may celebrate. _

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter 17 Potions**

Ginny was awoken by Finley's anxious morning words. She and the other girls were speaking, but as always Finley was the loud one.

"I mean, first off we have potions with Slytherins! Can you say 'ew'?"

The other girls gave words of encouragement and Finley continued as Ginny stretched.

"And on top of that we have defence with them too!"

Ginny rolled out of her bed, and the other girls looked warily at her.

"Finally up are we?" Bethany simpered, Ginny glowered but refrained from responding; maliciously or otherwise. She opened her trunk as the other girls kept talking and pulled out dark skinny jeans, a white button up shirt and her Gryffindor tie. She pulled the curtains around her bed and made sure nobody could see in before she could even think of changing. With all of her clothes on for the day Ginny felt like she could take a breath. The other girls were still chattering, and if she could untangle her robe from her covers where it always got caught she would be able to go and pretend to join them. Her dark robes clashed with the multicoloured quilt and was easy to see; even in the morning. Ginny scanned the blanket looking for the robe but didn't see it. She sighed, lifted up the quilt. It wasn't there. Ginny stared at the spot blankly for a moment before kicking into overdrive. She threw her quilt aside and searched desperately for the cloak. But it was most definitely not there. Breathing hard, Ginny leaned against the wall wracking her brain for where it could be. The other girls were still chattering just steps away, she poked her head out anyways. And, of course, her robe was hanging on a chair just far enough away that she would have to leave the confines of her curtained bed. Ginny bit her lip worriedly, her arms were obvious and if she left her bed the other girls would see. She had nothing to cover herself with on hand. She tuned her ears to their conversation.

"You are just perfect together, we can double!" Finn was practically screaming.

"Yes, well, I've always known that." Bethany said pointedly.

"You guys are so cute together!" gushed Sabrina, to silence.

Ginny heard footsteps leading away, but the steps of only one. She wondered who had left.

"What's with Dakota?" Bethany stage whispered, answering Ginny's question.

She tuned out. They obviously were not planning on going anywhere any time soon.

"Ginny hurry up!" Finn called.

Ginny looked over with a wild, scared look in her brown eyes, "go-go on with out me!" she said hoping her voice would stay steady and being let down.

She heard Sabrina and Bethany comply with her wishes but Finley was stubborn, "come on, we've already waited what's a few more minutes?"

"No breakfast, and no sitting next to our boyfriends, Finley, Duh!" Bethany giggled and Sabrina, who Ginny was sure had no boyfriend stayed sullenly silent.

"You sure, Ginny?" Finley asked from across the room. Ginny nodded fervently, then realised she couldn't be seen.

"One hundred percent!" She chirped falsely.

With a hand over her nervous mouth she waited for the descending, fading footsteps, and finally after one of the girls had run to their bed to grab something they were gone. Ginny let out a sigh of relief. Waited one moment more, then hurried to the chair and stuffed her arms into the holes as fast as she possibly could. Once she was certain every inch of broken skin was covered Ginny sank to the floor. She pressed her head between the palms of her hands, her heart had seemingly not yet received the message that she was safe. Nobody knew. Nobody suspected. She tried to take a deep breath, choked on the attempt. She replayed the entire scene in her racing mind, "it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, I'm alright." She murmured softly, trying to convince herself. She knew that if she didn't get her butt off that floor this moment she would be late for class but her legs were still unsteady and it was all she could do not to not to cry.

"You are over reacting, Ginevra Molly Weasley." She scolded herself firmly before gripping somebody's bed post to pull herself up. She dusted herself off quickly before heading for the door. However, once her hand was resting upon the knob she had to take a break. Sweat was beading down her stark white face. She used the sleeve of the black robe to wipe it away growling, "traitor" at her own body. She let her head fall down and forced herself to breath, finally, once her heart had once again reached what could be considered a normal rate, Ginny span the knob and headed down the stairs towards the dungeons, deciding that skipping breakfast was the only option. She made it to the class only a moment before Professor Snape and she had just sat down blindly in the only empty table on the unwritten Gryffindor side of the room when Snape prowled through the door. The dark, greasy man frightened Ginny. He made her mind wander to who Tom could become, who Tom had become. She hurried to get her supplies out before he had reason to notice her. Once at the front of the room Snape swirled around, his dark eyes skimming the class meanly.

"Page six hundred and thirty eight." he said softly, his words followed by a collective thud of books upon tables, and the noise of pages being turned boredly. Ginny was sure to be the first to have her book open to the correct page, she found her eyes trained to the page.

Beautification Potion

In the likely event that you are not attractive enough to nab a husband or wife this potion will make you, the drinker lovelier in appearance. That is, if you brew it correctly. Be careful because misbrewing may have hideous results.

Ginny raised an eyebrow at the introduction to the potion. Below the curling words was a list of ingredients and instructions but Ginny didn't look through those yet. It seemed as if the rest of the class had finished finding the page and Snape wasted no time in speaking.

"As it warns in your text, be careful. I would not be surprised to see twenty ugly faces leave this room today. Begin." With a swish of his robes Snape had walked into the darkest corner of the room where he would, no doubt, watch in disgust as the fifth years attempted the potion. Finally Ginny glanced over to see who her partner for the lesson would be. He sat not even an arms length away, he could have been anybody. But, because she was so lucky, Ginny thought sarcastically, it had to be him. She could only see the back of his head, the brown hair was growing out and needed to be cut. He was talking to Dawson who was sitting at the table beside theirs. Ginny sighed, she felt bad for what she had done to him last night. Even if he had brought it upon himself. Before she drowned in the thoughts Ginny forced her mind away, she stood up and went in search of the ingredients for the potion, glad to be away from him if only for a moment. When she arrived back at the table a smiling Leonard awaited her, he was no longer speaking to Dawson, but rather watching and waiting for her to return. Ginny gave him a wavering smile in return as she dropped the ingredients on the table.

"Have you looked over the instructions?" She asked him and he nodded and showed her the prepared materials. Leonard was quiet and smart and she was not worried about doing badly on the potion with him as her partner.

"So, how was your night?" He asked, his hazel eyes mocking her. She frowned at him but decided to keep up the charade just in case anybody else was listening in. Stop being paranoid! She scolded herself. But, she would play along nonetheless.

"Oh, the usual, boring." She said breezily as she worked, "and yours?"

"It wasn't the most eventful night."

"Well, they can't all be I suppose."

"I didn't see you at breakfast." He said mildly, stirring the potion and avoiding her glance.

"I slept in."

They were quiet for a while, working peacefully together with only a few words exchanged. But soon Leonard tried to spark a conversation once more.

"Do you like potions?"

Ginny shrugged noncommittally, "it's not the worst; not the best though by any means."

He nodded in understanding before quietly saying, "it'd be better without Snape."

Ginny nodded in total agreement but when the hook nosed professor left his dark corner to spy on the potions neither student complained. He stopped at their cauldron.

Snape said nothing as he looked into the cauldron, and Ginny couldn't help but flush in delight, Leonard held up his hand and Ginny gave him a quiet high-five, then they glanced over at Snape to be sure he hadn't seen. The oily man was glaring down his nose at Finley and Lukas, whose potion had turned black and had the consistency of tar. Ginny looked back at her own potion, it was a shimmering aqua color and was bubbling merrily in the cauldron. The beautification potion looked exactly how the book described it. She grinned at Leonard, 'man, we rock."

Leo gave her a small smile and then glanced around the room to be sure no one was watching.

"So, Red, how are you. Really?" Ginny grimaced at him before turning completely around and pretending to work on the potion. She ignored his hand resting on her shoulder. She worked hard to resist being pulled back to face him.

"Come on Red, I can't forget."

"Try harder."

"I said I was sorry for everything."

"And I forgave you, now is the forgetting part."

"And let you keep…you know."

"It's my body, Leonard and what I do to it is none of your concern."

"Then why is it Malfoy's?"

"It isn't."

"That's not at all how it sounded to me."

"Then you obviously were not listening hard enough."

The argument was cut off by Snape's quiet voice cutting through the class. Leo folded his arms over his chest, obviously unhappy about how the conversation had gone. Ginny just bit her lip wishing the boy had never followed her, wishing that she had never even gone to dinner that night.

"One person from each partnership will try this potion tomorrow once it has matured. I do not wish to hear any bickering in my classroom so have this decided by the time you enter. Do you understand me?" his eyes scanned the class, and he was apparently satisfied because with a swish of his wand the dungeon doors opened and he swept from the class. Without turning her head Ginny said, "Ill take the potion." and then she stood and sped away from the boy who had discovered her secret.

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_So.. I hope you liked the chapter. I am really sorry that it takes me forever to update but I hope its worth it a weeeee bit? REVIEW! =D_


	18. Chapter 18

_BAM! I am back. May I introduce Chapter Eighteen. Wooh. Big thank-you to everyone who reviewed. I want to answer one thing mainly directed to Aikoyu Saotome, but also to anybody else who thinks Ginny Weasley agreeing to kill Dumbledore is impossible. I know it seems waay out of character, and for the Ginny in cannon it is. However, in my story she has been alienated and alone since first year. The only person who has proven that they wont leave her is Tom, and Draco is very important to her as the first person in years she can speak to, the only one who knows her secret (not counting Tom, and when she agreed Leo did not know]. She is always worried about losing these two people because then she would truly be alone, and so when Tom asks her to do something that will help Draco of course she says yes. It took her a while and she still hasn't really come to terms with it but she will do it in order to keep them with her. Sorry if it seems ooc, and trust me, I dont like it either. =]_

_Thank-you Aikoyus Saotome for giving me something to think about with your reviews, and as always thank you to everybody else who has reviewed, subscribed or favorited! You guys and also gals make my day. _

_Anywho, enjoy the story. Review, review, review!_

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Chapter 18 Together **

He sat with his head in his hands, still shaken and glad that he had a free block right now. He had seen a flash of red hair bobbing towards the dungeons earlier and had thoroughly convinced himself it was her. Seeing her meant she was still alive, still moving, still breathing. He sighed. How had he fallen under her spell? After all his time spent avoiding so much as thinking of the seventh blood traitor he had been caught in her webs.

He remembered the sparks of jealousy that had erupted in his twelve year old self even as he teased her about liking Potter. Even then he had wanted to be near her, to know her.

He remembered biting his lip, hoping that the red head would by some miracle be sorted into Slytherin where he would not have to hate himself quite so much for having interest in her. Being let down as the shabby hat shouted the word every one in the hall had expected. Hissing and jeering with the rest of his house as the carefree girl skipped towards her equally excited family.

He remembered watching from a distance as she folded within herself, as her lively eyes faded, he remembered convincing himself not to watch as she suffered.

He remembered when his father had found the doodles he had absently drawn at the 'mature' age of fourteen. It was a pitiful doodle, surrounded by other, less traitorous ones but it drew the eye. A green heart stood out in the middle of the page, G.M in red, outlined in gold within its boundaries. His father had been furious.

And he remembered telling himself he agreed with the dark lords ideas, he agreed with his father. He found himself cursing her name and her families, forcing himself to hate her, and then when that failed, to ignore her. Unfortunately even Draco Malfoy could not ignore the beautiful, shaking Gryffindor he had stumbled upon. He clenched his fists, anyone but her.

And now, because he had ignored her all those years. Because he had left her at the mercy of Gryffindors, she had tried to die. Draco glared daggers around him. More than he blamed himself he blamed them. He had trusted them to keep her safe, to keep her happy, to make sure he would never have to pay attention to her again. That he could ignore her in peace. The Gryffindors had failed not only him but her as well. The frown on his pale face deepened. She deserved so much more than they had given her, she deserved friends, friends who weren't going to make her kill Dumbledore. He forced his mind off of that topic, as much as he knew it was neccesary he wanted to forget it. He had only minutes with which to wrap up his thoughts before class began again, he shut his eyes and pictured her face while he could.

---

The rest of the day had been spent avoiding Leo. Ginny was paranoid, always looking over her shoulder for the boy. She wished he would just leave her alone. She decided against lunch because she knew he would be there and when she was in class and her stomach grumbled she whispered a silencing spell. Her belly felt like a black hole by dinner time but she stubbornly headed towards the bathrooms to have a shower and brush her teeth. She had read somewhere that brushing your teeth made you forget about being hungry, why not try it, she thought.

Her mouth was minty and her hair was dripping. A simple drying charm could fix the dripping but Ginny let it be. She had pulled on fuzzy pink pyjamas and was curled in her bed. The shower and teeth brushing had certainly not worked and nobody was back from dinner yet. Ginny sighed, what else could help her forget hunger? She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but it didn't stop her stomach from growling and her mind from racing. She sat up, annoyed at herself and at Leo. She didn't have to not eat, she just couldn't go to the great hall. She smiled to herself, happy that Fred and George were her brothers, with them around how could she _not _know where the kitchens were. She looked down at herself and rolled her eyes, even though she didn't plan on being seen she did not want to risk it in the fuzzy pink p.j's. She swiftly changed into black sweat pants and a grey long sleeved shirt. She thought she still looked ridiculous but it was less embarrassing than the pyjamas so she left the dorm and headed for the painting of the pear. The house elves were so happy to see her, their squeaky voices made Ginny grin right back at them. She asked for a cup of tea and a cheese biscuit and mere minutes later the house elves had it for her on a silver platter. Ginny thanked them and then ate the biscuit in record time. Once every last drop of tea had been removed from her cup she thanked them once more and slipped from the kitchen feeling much better. The corridors were quite a bit more full than they had been when she had arrived but she ignored everybody as she headed for the Gryffindor common room. For once the Fat Lady was alone and quiet in her frame, she opened with a smile the moment Ginny told her the password. Inside everyone was comfortably sitting on the squishy chairs, talking and laughing with friends, doing homework, some were even falling asleep. Ginny wondered mutely how they could sleep when they were being watched by everybody in the common room. Finley skipped up to her and threw her small arms around her neck. "Ginny I've missed you today! Where have you been?" she asked breezily, gripping Ginny's hand in her own and pulling her towards a group of fifth years. Ginny held back her groan trying to force herself to feel lucky at being included. Price was sitting on the floor with a confused look on his tanned face, Bethany was curled up next to him smiling broadly. Sabrina sat alone, back against the wall looking longingly at the couple. Lukas patted the ground next to him and wrapped his arm around Finley the moment she sat. Ginny stood awkwardly until Finley gave her a questioning look, then she dropped to the ground quickly.

"Can you believe Snape? I hate that beautification potion." Sabrina groaned, "I don't need to be any prettier." Dawson laughed deeply, "don't worry Sabrina, our potion ain't making you prettier."

"Your right, its making _you_ uglier!" She said shrilly. Finley giggled, "come on guys it doesn't last long, right? And who cares if it changes how you look we all know the truth."

Lukas poked her, "does that mean you're taking ours?" She nodded defiantly. Sabrina frowned, "well I am not." Bethany looked up at Price who still looked as if he didn't understand what was going on, "you wouldn't mind taking it would you?" She saw Dakota walking towards the group and she reached for his hand and held it protectively. Price nodded, his eyes on the wall. Ginny looked at Dakota, she had been making a beeline for them but now she had turned around and was heading for the dorms. Ginny wrinkled her brow at the girls back.

"Who is taking yours, Ginny?" Finley chirped and Ginny slid her gaze back towards the group. "I am."

Finley smiled, "at least you have nothing to worry about. You and Leo made the best potion."

"Thank-you." Ginny said quietly, "where is he by the way?" She bit her tongue, it didn't matter where he was! But she had already asked. Bethany shot into the conversation, "he went off looking for you of course, are you two, like, together?"

Ginny shook her head wildly, "no!" she gasped red faced. Sabrina lit up, "oh my gosh, you totally are!"

Finley grinned a congratulations at her and she sighed.

"Really we're not."

"sure, sure."

Ginny stood, "I'm tired, goodnight."

Everybody laughed at her, "don't be mad that we've found your secret!" Bethany giggled.

"You haven't." She groaned and turned towards the dormitory.

She stopped at the door once she had opened it, listening for Dakota. The other girl was breathing slowly and deeply which made Ginny think she was sleeping, she walked in softly.

"whose there?" Dakota's soft voice called.

"It's Ginny." Dakota pulled the curtains aside and looked around the room. "Oh."

"Would you like me to leave, Dakota?"

"No, no, stay."

Ginny wondered if Dakota was going to admit to liking Price, it seemed obvious to her.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked Dakota who nodded slowly and patted her bed. Once Ginny was sitting comfortably beside her Dakota started talking.

"How does he like _her_?" She asked with a frown, "she's rather rude, isn't she? And she's not unique at all, and she has that stupid Sabrina following her around all the time. Why her?"

Ginny bit her lip, "well, I don't know that he does like her."

"Did you see how close they were? And holding hands too!"

"Did you see his face?"

"I was busy looking at them together."

"Well I did, and trust me he did not look happy."

"Really?" Dakota said hopefully a ghost of a smile appearing on her face, "oh, I do hope he isn't! I've liked him for ages you know."

Ginny smiled, "I don't think she gave him a choice about her, but it can't last long. They're nothing like Lukas and Finley."

"Thank you, Ginny. Now, what about you and Leo?"

"What about me and Leo?" Ginny asked, her voice tainted with annoyance at him.

"Well, are you two…well, together? Everybody says you are after today."

"Well no. We are no such thing, hardly even friends to tell the truth."

"Oh. That's too bad, he's kind of cute and you guys would be good together."

"Well I highly doubt that will ever happen. If you will excuse me I am going to bed."

Ginny hurried to her bed angrily, so what? After being together in potions they were an item? Was he saying things? She picked up her robe and placed it directly under her pillow before drawing the thick curtains and using a silencing charm to keep any noise she made in. She had her bag in bed with her and she fumbled with it until she could push her hand inside, she felt around the bottom until she found her blade and the cloth. At this point she didn't even want to cut herself, but it was the most natural thing to do. She was feeling numb, her thoughts were for once at a stand still. She twirled the blade in her fingers, looking at it she thought a new one would be much better. Use had dulled the silver tool. "I guess that means I need to press harder, then." She whispered to herself, then she held out her left wrist. The lines of horizontal cuts covered her arm leaving no room for more. She lightly touched the blade to her skin, directly below her elbow, as close to the left as she could get it, then she pressed. She didn't drag the blade though. She lifted it up, a dent in her skin, and in the angry red lines greeted her, but no blood - no pain. She pushed the razor down one more, took a deep shaking breath. Lifted it. Her arm was shaking with anticipation now, she expected the blood raving through her veins to open the cuts with no help from her. Once more she pressed the blade down, aiming for the faint line where she had placed it before. This time she dragged, she steeled herself against the pain as she pulled the sharp silver instrument against herself, she ignored the ripping of her skin. The cut stopped a thumbs width from her palm. It was bleeding freely and the cloth was too short to press over the entire thing. She resorted to catching the blood before it could fall on her bedding or clothes. She watched as the red substance made its trail down to her hand, then she wiped it away moments before it could hit her fingers. For once, one cut was enough, she was fascinated by the intricate pattern the flowing blood drew on her, how it reacted when it hit raised scabs from previous encounters with the blade. She pressed on it lightly, half hearted, not wanting the blood to stop. But it could only flow for so long, soon a messy covering of hardened blood stopped her game. She pulled the sleeve of her shirt down over her arm without bothering to clean it. She replaced the cloth and blade in her bag and placed it at the foot of her bed. She pulled her sleeve up to stare again at her arm. _"Thank-you"_

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_Well there y'have it. I hope you liked this chapter. It's not my favorite though. Have a wonderful holiday, I expect I will update quite a few times during break. Review? =D_


	19. Chapter 19

_Well here is is chapter nineteen. I can't believe I am almost at twenty. Its weird! I have stuck with this story a lot longer than with others, thank you to reviewers, favoriters and subscribers - you have made this happen. I hope you enjoy this chapter; things are moving along. _

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Chapter 19 Compared**

"I don't care how you do it, just get her." he said, his narrow slits never straying from the man in front of him.

"But my Lord, the protection on the students is unimaginable."

"You will get her. Or else. And remind him to hurry, I am losing patience."

"Y-yes, my Lord. Of course." Malfoy bowed deeply before spinning on his heel and quickly exiting the room. He didn't slow his pace until he was in the relative safety of his bedroom, Narcissa was sitting on the soft green chair staring out the window, moments after he had closed the door she turned around to stare him down. The brims of her eyes were red and her face was pale. His wifes usually neat hair was stringy and limp, she had not changed into day clothes though it was nearing night once more. Lucius did not want to tell her the news. He hurried to her side and knelt before her, grabbing her hands softly he stared into her glazed eyes.

"I have always promised you it would be alright, have I not, my love?"

The woman in front of him said nothing, in fact she made almost no sign that she had heard him but he knew she had. Recently she had drawn away, he shuddered to think of what would happen if the dark lord were to call on her. He squeezed her hand in search of the joyful woman he had once known. "Tell me, Lucius." Narcissa's breathing was soft and even, and her voice flowed so easily over the words that he almost wished he had imagined them. But her eyes, looking into his again proved his hope incorrect.

"He wants the Weasley girl," he muttered as he watched her. He was familiar with the expression on her face that told him plainly, 'what else'.

"He also told me that Draco must hurry."

Narcissa nodded thoughtfully, "is that all?" When he did not respond she continued, "surely a Hogsmead visit is due? We will take the girl then, I will go. She will follow a woman easier than a man I should think. And at this time we will also take Draco, of course he will be brought back to the castle before anyone notices his absence. It would be a good time for us to speak to him about his plans."

Lucius looked at her awed, the words contained in the short speech numbered higher than any she had uttered in days. He nodded compliantly, "we will perfect these plans. I will owl Draco to see when the next visit is and request a meeting with him. Rest, love."

--

"GINNY!" She rolled over groaning, why is it, she wondered, that I wake up each morning being shouted at? Can't a girl get some rest around here? She sat up with a sigh and Finley wrenched open her curtains.

"Guess what I saw on the notice board!"

"what?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and thinking that whatever it was could definitely have waited until she had woken up naturally.

"I said guess, silly." Finley teased.

Ginny just glared through her tired eyes at the girl who was the definition of 'morning person'.

"Oh fine, a surprise Hogsmead trip this Friday! Can you believe it! Its already Tuesday!" Ginny smiled at the excited Gryffindor and gently shoved her away, "I knew it could have waited," she mumbled as she forced her leaden body out of the comfortable bed. Finley didn't go away, she quietly bounced on the spot as she watched Ginny. Finally she couldn't hold her words in, "Don't you get it Ginny? This means you and mystery man could, you know, go on a real date!" Ginny raised her eyebrow at Finley, "I think if we wanted to be seen in public we would hang out during the day." Finley stuck her tongue out, "come on! You can't hide forever, this is Hogwarts." Ginny pawed through her bag and pulled out a white tank top, jeans and a black bunny hug. She glanced at her bed to be sure of her robe, "thank-you for telling me the news, Finley, but the chances of us going to Hogsmead together are ridiculously low." She closed the curtains around her bed before continuing, "we're a down low kind of friendship. And we're definitely not dating, so even if we did want to be seen it would be in like the library or something." She could hear Finleys sigh through the cloth, "well he likes you doesn't he?" she asked innocently.

"I don't know if he does or doesn't." Ginny told her honestly and then, once she was certain her skin was covered, she opened her curtains, "I haven't asked." Finley groaned, "Ginny you are utterly clueless, aren't you? Come on, lets get to breakfast."

--

He had woken at 6:00am as usual and had a shower, dressed and was waiting patiently in the common room for an acceptable time to go eat when a familiar owl pecked on the window. He hurried to open the window for the eagle owl with a thin letter. He retrieved it and sat in the exact spot he had been previously before opening it. He knew the letter had come from his father or mother and the distinct lack of sweets told him he would not like the news.

_Draco, we are interested in the date of your next Hogsmead trip as we wish to see you and some choice school mates and have decided this to be a perfect place to do so. Find out and owl us, whenever it may be we will meet you at the usual spot. Also, invite our good friend Ginevra Weasley, sources have told us you should have no troubles getting her to comply, however if you do - you know what to do. _

The neat scrawl of his father was quickly recognized, and Draco also knew that the unexplained 'we' in the message did not mean 'your mother and I'. His breath had caught in his throat upon reading _her_ name. They had been to secretive, so quiet he wondered how anyone had found out. Although trust was, to him, foreign, he trusted that Ginny had not told a soul. But he _knew _he had told no one. It made no sense that his father knew, he closed his eyes and held his head in his hands.

"_if you do - you know what to do." _Draco shuddered, the imperius curse, or some form of torture to make her agree. He would not do that. He couldn't. But Ginny wouldn't go with him any other way, she had agreed to keep them quiet. He tore the letter in two and threw it angrily into the fire. Should he tell her the truth, that his father had requested her presence? Or should he pretend he wanted to spend time with her no matter the consequences? His blood beat through his veins rapidly as his heart beat sped up in tune with his worry. _"You know what to do." _He saw the words in his mind, heard them. He stood up, shoving the chair away, "I don't!" He shouted and stormed from the common room, "I don't."

--

She saw him enter and could tell by his body language that something was wrong. But she couldn't talk to him, or even acknowledge him at all. She was sitting with Finley, they were the only fifth year Gryffindors to have arrived to the great hall. Finley was still bouncing and talking rapidly, Ginny was having difficulties keeping her mind on the girls chatter.

"You're going to look so pretty today, not that you don't always, but I mean after your potion. I'm going to be an ugly duckling!" She chirped to Ginny's confusion.

"Ugly duckling?"

"it's a children's story, a muggle one, don't mind it." Finley said, grinning wildly and looking at the door where Lukas was just walking in with a gaggle of boys. Finley raised her hand and waved and the group headed towards them. Lukas took his spot directly beside Finley and kissed her cheek, causing her smile to grow even larger. Leo sat next to a frowning Ginny and Dawson and Price sat across from them. Conversation was quick to grow but Ginny did not participate, she looked past the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables and saw Draco sitting with Crabbe and Goyle looking displeased about something. She sighed and made herself look away, she saw Collin Creevey burst into the great hall with his ever present camera weighing down on his neck. She expected him to hurry over to the group but he sat right next to Harry and took a picture of the black haired boy drinking a glass of water, which he proceeded to spill all down his front. Ginny snorted, then looked at her friends hoping they hadn't noticed. All but Leo had not. He looked at her curiously but silent and she frowned at him, but told him anyways "somebody spilled water all down their front." Leo smiled, glad that Red had spoken to him, he resisted wrapping his arm protectively around her like Lukas had done. Ginny was very different from Finley, she would probably punch him in the face if he tried it. As if she had read his mind Ginny smirked and turned around quickly, he heard her falsely chipper voice added into the conversation. And so he tuned his ears in also, they were talking about the upcoming Hogsmead visit. He had nothing to say and rather than pretend like _she_ was he buttered a piece of toast and chewed it thoughtfully as he listened to his friends and Red, who had her own little category that he had left untitled in confusion.

--

After an uneventful transfiguration class Ginny walked alone to the dungeons where potions were held. She easily could have walked with her classmates but the presence of Leo was bothering her and she greatly wanted to calm down before potions so Snape had no reason to take off house points for something as little as hitting another student. She forced herself to breath deeply and pushed her mind forcefully away from the brunette. _Miss me? _Toms voice was but a whisper in her ear. As a matter of fact she did miss him, she had been wondering why he had left her alone lately. But here he was, and she was wishing he would go away now that he had proven he hadn't forgotten her.

_I've certainly missed you, my sweet. _She couldn't help but roll her brown eyes at his cheesiness, Draco was never like this with her, he treated her like an equal while making her feel loved. She felt him leave her mind as it was swamped with only Draco. Kissing him, holding him, his voice, the silver orbs that could hold both fire and ice, the emotions he made her feel. She found herself contently daydreaming of the Malfoy heir all the way into the dungeons where her thoughts were cut off by Finley jumping onto her back.

"You look so happy and your eyes are glazed. Either you are drunk or he asked you to Hogsmead, which is it!" she hissed into her ear. Ginny laughed and shook her head, "neither, I was just thinking." Finley let go and dropped lightly to the ground, "about him at least, right?" she asked hopefully, falling into stride beside the red head who nodded with a bright blush on her cheeks. Finley grinned widely, "I think I may be the only one who really knows you and Leo aren't an item. You should prove it to everyone else by introducing the mystery man!" She slid into her chair beside Lukas, "think about it!"

Little did she know Ginny found it hard to think of anything else, as she sat in her own chair beside the empty space that would soon be filled by Leo she could see only Draco in her mind, they were holding hands and laughing as they walked into the three broomsticks. She kept her mind on that track until Leo interrupted, "Whatcha thinking, Red?" she raised one eyebrow at him but said nothing.

"We're partners, you should talk to me more." he said with a hopeful glint in his hazel eyes. Ginny just crossed her arms at him, "we could be good, Red."

"I'd rather not, Leo. Please, leave me alone."

"People already think we're together, they like us together."

"I don't care what 'they' like, Leonard. I don't like us together!" Ginny hissed at him, her face red and her Weasley temper boiling.

"You'll come around." He said confidently, "I'll get the potion." She watched him walk away, with a pronounced frown on her face. She looked over his body; he was fairly average in height, only a few inches taller than she and he didn't seem to be too muscular although he was also not fat. His brown hair was in a carefully controlled mess and she knew his lips would be curved in a smile. No, there was no way she could fall for someone like him. She looked away pointedly even though he wasn't watching.

"There isn't even a comparison." She pouted out loud, "not a single one."

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_Please do review it could be like your christmas present to me. or your birthday present to me. or your chanukah present to me even though chanukah has been over for a while yet.. and so has my birthday.. but...you should still review (:_

_Please? _


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